


Sedate My Love

by y_oona



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Choi and Hong Dynamic is like the Shepard and Sloan Dynamic, Gen, Grey's Anatomy inspired, Gyuhan in the beginning, I'm trying my hardest to revive the Jeongcheol tag, If you guys dont know me, Jeonghan is like Cristina Yang but with Feelings and emotions, Joshua's like the Robbins, M/M, Nurse Hansol, Others make a cameo later, Pre-Med Majors to Doctors, mentions of Seokmin - Freeform, there will be #Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-03-14 10:29:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 29,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13588170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/y_oona/pseuds/y_oona
Summary: Becoming a surgeon meant having focus, and being realistic. But sadly, Seungcheol's a sucker for fate and if it's meant to be it'll work out. Especially when him and Jeonghan cross paths when they really shouldn't have met at all.





	1. Blinded Truth

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at summaries, especially since I don't want to give too much away
> 
> It may seem confusing but I promise it makes sense in the next chapter

Seungcheol considers himself a glass-half-full type of guy. He’s a hopeless romantic who believes in happily ever after’s, soulmates and fate. Ever since he could remember, he’s been a dreamer. Believing that there needed to be as much optimism in such a pessimistic world. So whenever his friends seemed excited about whatever it was that got their mind going a mile a minute, he knew he had to be just as excited and thrilled to let them know someone cared and was happy for them. 

Today might have been the day things changed.

“Guys, you will not believe it! I met someone!” The tan Korean man came running towards their table by the window.

Swallowing his croissant, Seungcheol began to rip himself a new piece. “Male or female?”

“Male!”

The brunet gave the other a look of approval and slight bewilderment, “Wow Mingyu, the last dude you dated was-”

“Me!” Joshua Hong, their classmate, chimes in, finally looking up from his laptop, with the brightest smile.

Joshua and Mingyu had dated their first year of college. After several months of back and forth arguments and finger pointing, they decided it was best to just end things between them. Granted, it did take another couple of months to get them back to speaking terms, but thankfully for Seungcheol, the three of them slipped into their best friend ways.

Mingyu scrunched his nose at the memories, “Yes, I know, shut up. You ruined me. But this guy… Let me tell you. He’s amazing. We went on a date last night and he’s physically perfect and personality wise, perfect.”

“Well, I’m glad you met someone buddy. The MCAT had you stressed.”

The three of them were currently undergraduates at New York University, enrolled in the Pre-Med program. Joshua and Seungcheol have been roommates while Mingyu roomed in the room adjacent to them with a kid named Mark. They started out as just acquaintances who lived with each other and had their pre-requisites together, but as time moved on, their bond grew stronger.

Joshua nodded along in agreement. The Medical exam has all of them stressed so he thought it was a smart idea for them to get back out there and find someone since it was their last year before they graduate.

“Well, aren’t you seeing that guy from Columbia? He’s a Junior, right?”

Rolling his eyes at Mingyu’s comment, he sent him a short glare before he motioned with his eyes to Seungcheol who was currently not seeing anybody. Talking about their own love life seemed only slightly insensitive to the only single person there.

Finally understanding the situation, the tall man bit his tongue giving the latter a sheepish smile.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to date; he did. But Seungcheol just didn’t feel that way about anyone. Nobody gave him that special feeling. He still is the fairy tale ending, soulmate searching fool; there was just nobody that fits in all of his dreams. Especially since he’s planning on becoming a surgeon.

Seungcheol’s thankful that his friends care about his love life, it just wasn’t high on his priority list since there was just nobody for him yet.

Nobody; until he walked in.

It was mid-September so it was already getting cold out, so everybody was rushing in and out of the café for their quick stop for their daily coffee. It’s Manhattan, people never rest. So, when he sees him through the crowd of people, he knew. It was hard to miss him. The guy was wearing an outlandish half pink and half grey sweater that’s a bit large on him. Maybe it’s the round glasses on his small frame or because the blond hair makes him look soft, but the man staring directly at their table seems to be fitting in Seungcheol’s fairy tale like the puzzle piece he’s been missing for years.

“Jeonghan!” Mingyu rushed out of his chair to meet him by the counter, leaving both Joshua and Seungcheol to process who he was speaking to. At that moment, he knew that this man was the missing piece to his puzzle, and dreads that fact.

Joshua nearly choked on his coffee as Mingyu began to chat up this Jeonghan character. “Oh my God, he’s that dude in my Orgo class! He’s the other Korean I was telling you about! The one who got the same score as you on the MCAT! How did he land him?”

Seungcheol just smiles in response. He didn’t know what else to do in a moment like this. So he smiles. He keeps the smile on his face while Mingyu hugs him. Even when he feels this terribly uncomfortable feeling spread from the middle of his chest towards his lungs and stomach. Seungcheol was burning inside, but yet he’s still smiling. Because that’s all he knows how to do. Never once has he looked a gift horse in the mouth, never once has he ever felt this type of jealousy he felt as Mingyu led Jeonghan towards them, because just for a moment, he thought his happy ending could have happened.

“Guys, this is Yoon Jeonghan! Or Jeonghan Yoon? – It’s whatever. He’s a Pre-Med major as well.”

“We have Organic Chemistry together, right?” Jeonghan shook Joshua’s hand, pulling up a chair to sit between the LA boy and Mingyu.

“Back left corner? That’s me. Joshua Hong. Please to meet you.”

Turing to offer a hand to Seungcheol, he showed nothing but a bright smile. Hesitantly, he took the hand, and regretfully, he felt his entire body burn up. “Seungcheol. Nice to meet you.”

Jeonghan went around asking the basic questions. Introductions were always the hardest when meeting someone. Mingyu watched with fondness as Joshua and Jeonghan went back and forth on the topic of one student who’s constantly late and always asleep, yet he manages to pass the class.

Hoping he went unnoticed, imagine Seungcheol’s disappointment when Mingyu decided to point out that he hasn’t uttered a word since Jeonghan’s unexpected arrival.

“Sorry, I’m just exhausted. I had a lab write up due earlier.”

“You’re Pre-Med as well?” The blond’s eyes lit up, “What field?”

“Uhhh… A surgeon. Caught between ophthalmic and neurological.”

That seemed to have caught Jeonghan’s attention as he perked up a bit, giving off a brief look of amazement towards his other friends, “Neuro? Really? You’ve already narrowed it down?”

“Narrowed it down? Choi has had his heart set out on being a neurosurgeon since I’ve known him,” Mingyu clapped him on the back like a proud father would.

Clearing his throat, he decided to ask, “What about you?”

“Aiming to be a cardiothoracic surgeon. It’s been a dream of mine since I was fourteen,” Jeonghan’s smile had softened significantly, but yet it looked, even more, sincerer and Seungcheol could feel his heart drop once more when his eyes locked with Seungcheol, “If you were born at a different time, I could have used a surgeon like you.”

Heart rate increasing, he could barely hear Mingyu asking what he meant by that over the throbbing in his ears. But he could see Jeonghan shake his head, saying it was a story for another time. Seungcheol kept a note in the back of his mind that he wanted to hear that story one day. Just not today. Or anytime soon.

 

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

 

“What did you think about Mingyu’s special someone?” Joshua stripped out of his sweater before throwing himself on the couch, prepared to watch Jeopardy.

“He’s… Um… He’s great.”

"I think the kid's insane. He's turning twenty next month when I'm turning twenty-one in like-" Joshua turned his head almost robotically when he wasn't getting any sort of reaction, “Cheol? You’ve been out of it all day. You good?”

“Is it…” He hesitated, rubbing his forehead in frustration. Joshua’s his best friend. He knew he could trust him, but he wasn’t too sure how he’d react. “It is bad… that I wish I ran into Jeonghan before Mingyu did?”

His roommate’s eyes widened a tad as the words settled in his mind, “You have a crush on Mingyu’s crush?”

“Am I horrible?”

Sighing, Joshua shook his head in response. No matter how wrong it seemed, he understood where he was coming from. If anything, he felt relieved that Seungcheol was showing some type of interest. He knows his best friend is looking for the one. Seungcheol had dated someone their second year of college but eventually broke it off because he didn’t feel right, Joshua distinctly remembers him saying “I know people date around to find someone for them, but I don’t want to waste my time with people who I know aren’t the one. And I don’t want to force it. If they’re the one, they’re the one and that’s that.”

The last time the older has ever mentioned someone special being in his life was in high school, but it sadly didn’t last too long. But the way he had spoken about that one guy when he was younger, it seemed to have been the closest person to Seungcheol’s dream.

“I should just avoid him,” Seungcheol’s voice snapped Joshua from his thoughts, “Because he’s just extremely good looking, right? It’s just nerves.”

Scoffing, Joshua asked, “Do you get nerves looking at me?” He waited for the other to shake his head before continuing, “Then him being attractive isn’t the problem. Just admit it. You have a crush on the guy.”

“I can’t.”

“Because of Mingyu?”

“You saw him, he looked so happy. Can you imagine if he found out that one of his best friends has a thing for his… whatever Jeonghan is to him right now?”

“It’s not like you’re in love with the g-” He froze. “Oh my God. You’re in love with him?”

“No. No. No, I’m not. That’s ridiculous.”

“Yeah, it is, because you just met him. I know you believe in fate, but love at first sight? Really? Come on, it wasn’t even like that when I met Hansol.”

Nodding, he let an uneven sigh escape. “No yeah… I know. Don’t worry. There’s no way I’m in love.”

 

   ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  

 

Avoiding Jeonghan was a lot harder to do. Especially since now that he’s met him, he can’t seem to avoid him. Whenever Seungcheol would study in the library, he’d see him in the bookshelves. If he decided to spend some time with his friends in the park, he’d see Jeonghan walking a dog. Hell, he ended up on the other side of Manhattan and yet, here he was, riding the same subway as him, nearing ten at night.

The blond sees him as he enters the cart, almost instantly ripping out his headphones. Once again, he was wearing an oversized sweater – a burnt orange color that normally doesn’t appeal to his eyes but it’s Jeonghan so of course, it looks good – with warned out skinny jeans. Seungcheol looked down at a blue sweater, trying to avoid eye contact to no avail, Jeonghan took the seat right in front of him. Matter of fact, they were the only ones in the cart beside a couple on the other side.

He gave Seungcheol a small hello before the brunet went back to reading his book. Instantly, instead of reading about the functions of elements and how they bind together, he was staring at his hands. Looking up, he sees Jeonghan closing the book and setting it aside next to him, “Did I offend you or something?”

A bit taken aback, Seungcheol scrunches his eyebrows finally making eye contact with him – a big mistake. Jeonghan’s eyes seemed so different now, it’s as if they’re brimming with so much emotion.

“Every time I see you when you’re not with Mingyu, you act like I don’t exist. And even when you’re with Joshua or Gyu you still only say hi to me and then proceed to ignore me. So please tell me if I did something wrong so I can properly apologize.”

There is a hint of desperation in his voice. Seungcheol hates it. Allowing himself to sigh and adjust his position, placing his hands on his knees. “No, don’t apologize, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Do you just not like me?”

He takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself, “Listen, it’s rather complicated. And I’d rather not tell you.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re with Mingyu.”

Jeonghan leaned back in his seat as if he wasn’t expecting that answer. “What does my relationship with Mingyu have to do with this?”

The subway came to a stop, they both watch as the couple finally gets off. Nobody else got on, so it left Jeonghan and Seungcheol alone.

“Seungcheol, whatever it is, just tell me so I know how to fix it. Because I’ve been told some pretty intense shit so I don’t think you can scare me.” Jeonghan crossed his arms.

“Fine. I’m extremely attracted to you. I have been since I first met you, but you’re with Mingyu so I don’t want to say or do anything that I regret.”

A pregnant pause encompassed the two students, letting the sound of the tracks surround them. “Oh.”

“Yeah…” Seungcheol closed his eyes, regretting he let all of that out. As the cart came to a holt, he got off knowing it’s his stop and hoping that Jeonghan doesn’t either.

“I felt the same way you know.”

Seungcheol felt his heart stop beating once again, a habit that only happened with the blond. There was no possible way he heard those words correctly. He’s tired, it’s been a long day, a lot happened-

“Do you know how crappy it would be of me to tell the guy I went on a date with that I find one of his best friends good looking?”

 

The two ended up walking back to their apartment complex together – the irony is that they’ve lived one floor apart for almost a year without knowing.

The conversation between the two became natural after the older stupidly blurted out “I like food.” In order to get off the topic of their mutual attraction. It worked in their favor as they began talking about the best Korean restaurants in Manhattan along with the best fake Korean places. The topic shifted from Korean food to the food in NYU to being too broke to afford food which got them on the topic of ramen and Mingyu’s delicious but dangerous way of cooking. “Just know that you shouldn’t be near Mingyu when he cooks ramen. He almost burned Joshua.” Seungcheol laughed fondly at the memory of his two friends being idiots. 

Before they knew it two months pass by, of the weekly train rides and random meetups on the top floor of the library, all by themselves. They’d talk from the weather to the traffic. Seungcheol learned that Jeonghan volunteered in the hospital in the Upper East Side while Jeonghan figured out Seungcheol spends time in upper Manhattan to be with his family.

One night in early December, the two walked home having minimal conversation. Both bundled in long sleeves and winter coats. Talking about everything and anything once more. But this time Seungcheol’s voice trailed off when he noticed there wasn’t a body next to him anymore. Seungcheol turns to see Jeonghan staring at the trees wrapped with fairy lights to switching his gaze upward at the moon in the sky. In return, Seungcheol stared too, to watch the blond grin at the lights and the buildings. Seungcheol could feel the smile creep onto his face, how could it not? Jeonghan looks so entranced he almost regrets interrupting him.

“Jeonghan?”

Flinching out of his daydream he gives Seungcheol a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry… I was just-”

“Appreciating the view? Enjoying the beauty of the world?”

Jeonghan nodded, “Yeah that’s exactly what I was doing… People tend to take the little things for granted; it’s a habit for me to stare.”

The brunet’s heart was pounding in his chest. There’s something about the fact that Jeonghan is still the most down to earth person he’s ever met. “Not a lot of people are like that. You’re special.” _‘You always have been.’_

He saw Jeonghan try to hide his blush cheeks by facing the building across the street, “Can I tell you something?”

“Well… I mean it depends… I suck at keeping secrets.”

“I like you.”

“Jeonghan…” Seungcheol clenched his jaw. He can’t do this. No matter how happy the sound of him saying it made him, it’s just wrong. “You’ve been with Mingyu for almost three months-”

“And the entire time, I’ve been trying to just get to know you. But you kept your distance until recently.”

“Why?”

“Because there’s something about you that screams happiness okay? I met you and you seemed so familiar and I’m sorry I can’t control my feelings.” Jeonghan seemed so frustrated at that moment.

Dragging his hand down his face, Seungcheol wasn’t sure how to respond to the confession. He should be jumping up and down out of excitement from the revelation. But all he felt was guilt. “I kept my distance for a reason. I can’t be attracted to my best friend’s boyfriend.”

Jeonghan’s face seemed extremely offended so he knew he took a step in the wrong direction. “Is that all it is? My appearance? Is that what everybody with perfect vision see? You only give someone the time of day because someone’s hot? God damn it, Andrew-”

“What.”

He knew that both of their minds went blank at the moment.

“I-I’m- my name isn’t Andrew…” Seungcheol gave him an incredulous look.

“I’m sorry…” Jeonghan ran his fingers through his hair. “Andrew was my friend back then. He… He was the last person I had feelings for. God, I’m an idiot.”

Before Seungcheol could even get a word in, Jeonghan walked right past him, not even looking back. He watched him walk away for blocks until he turned into their apartment building. His heart wouldn’t calm down. His head was throbbing while he replayed the conversation in his head over and over and over again. It would just stay there because he couldn’t tell anybody about, mostly because nobody knew about him and Jeonghan.

 

   ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  

 

Since that day, they didn’t speak to each other for months. Neither of them could even look at one another without something igniting in him. But the unofficial façade they put up came crumbling down the night they went out to the bar.

“So,” Mingyu wrapped an arm around Jeonghan as he sat down across the booth from Joshua and Seungcheol. “Midterms are finally over and it’s smooth sailing from here right?”

“Final semester of this hell hole!” Seungcheol raised his shot glass before downing it.

“You love it here, what are you talking about?” Joshua classily sipped his gin and tonic.

Releasing a relieved sigh after the much-needed kick of alcohol, “I’m going to love Columbia more.”

“What happened to John Hopkins?”

The question caught them all off guard. Especially since the question came from Jeonghan himself. The two looked at each other knowing they had made a misstep.

“How did you know about him wanting to go to John Hopkins?” Mingyu turned to his boyfriend.

The now brunet man and now raven-haired man looked at each other. They went two months keeping their friendship hidden— for god knows why—from their friends, then ignored each other for another three months due to the fact they had feelings for each other but couldn’t act on them. Their friends had accepted the fact that they weren’t going to be close, but their friends didn’t know they were close, to begin with.

“I… He mentioned it a while ago didn’t he?” Jeonghan tries to play off, swirling his scotch he ordered all thanks to his fake ID.

“I mean I didn’t think you’d remember something about Cheollie over here,” Joshua teased pinching his friend’s cheek. “Considering how you guys seem to never be around each other.”

Speaking to the rim of the glass, Jeonghan raised his eyebrows surprised that the cover-up seemed plausible. “What can I say, I have a good memory.”

They were almost in the clear when an awfully familiar face to both Seungcheol and Jeonghan passed by the table.

“Cheol my man!” A handsome man spread his arm with what looked like a margarita in his hand.

The two made eye contact, not giving the new stranger a second glance.

‘ _Fuck.’_

“Hey Jun…” Seungcheol began to hope and pray his mouth doesn’t vomit out anything dealing with the two of them. The truth being that Jeonghan and he used to study together at the topmost floor of the library alone and Jun – who was a nursing student— would occasionally join them. They didn’t see a harm since technically they weren’t doing anything wrong, and Jun was just a semester behind them so they weren’t in any of the same classes.

“I haven’t seen you guys in the library in a while. I thought you guys would be there since it was midterms! I needed you guys to quiz me on microbiology.”

“You guys? Who do you study with? You always go alone when I ask you?” Joshua gave his roommate a confused look.

“Jeonghan and Seungcheol,” Jun pointed between the two guilty parties before being pulled away by one of his friends. “Better see your asses back in the library next week. I’ll bring my Minghao, it’ll be a double date instead of me third wheeling!” He screamed over the loud music.

There was an extensive silence between the four of them. Joshua bit his lip, preventing himself from saying something out of line while Mingyu stared at his beer bottle not really sure what to think of the situation, arm slowly unwrapping itself from Jeonghan who had his eyes shut.

“You two… Hang out?” Mingyu glanced between the two. “As in, spend time together, and without anybody else knowing? Shua, did you know they were even friends?”

“I can honestly say I didn’t.” It seems as if Joshua too, was stepping on a fine line. He had nothing to do with it, and did no wrong, but he felt like he did.

“My question is why you two pretended not to be friends? Matter of fact, why did you hide it?”

Jeonghan focuses all his energy on swirling his scotch, trying hard not to glance up at Seungcheol who wished that he still had a drink in his hand.

“We did nothing wrong.” Jeonghan finally let out a sigh of defeat. “Am I not allowed to spend time with my friends?”

“That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying I’m confused as to why my boyfriend and my best friend pretended to be complete strangers when I guess they’ve spent a hell of a lot of time together.” He looked Seungcheol in the eye, “Whenever Jeonghan told me he’s busy in the library, studying by himself, he was with you. Or when he goes out to get coffee and doesn’t come back for two hours, he’s with you?”

“We were just friends, you don’t have anything to worry about-”

“Why would I worry? It’s not like you had feelings for him, right?”

Joshua stared Seungcheol’s side profile down. He knew. No. He knows. He knows for a fact that Seungcheol’s feelings for Jeonghan were more than platonic. He’s been kept in the dark for the past few months, but he sure as hell wasn’t expecting Jeonghan to seemingly reciprocate.

“Cheol?” Mingyu’s eyes burned into him.

“It’s me, it’s my fault.” Jeonghan confessed once more, “I’m sorry, but I’m the one who kept it under wraps. I’m the one- I… It’s selfish but I… I have feelings for Seungcheol but I also couldn’t speak up and leave you. So, I thought I could have both. A friendship and a relationship. But I guess my feelings for him is a lot more than I hoped. I’m sorry. I’m all to blame. I got attached because there’s just something about him…” He finally looked Seungcheol in the eye. “You… You as a whole reminds me of Andrew and I can’t let it go.”

“The guy you were in love with in high school? The one you couldn’t see?” Mingyu stood up, leaving the booth in a fit of rage. The two watched as Jeonghan runs after him.

 

   ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  

 

“What’s up with you?” Joshua shut their apartment door shut. “First you tell me you’re in love with him. You make me think you’re avoiding him, then! THEN! I find out you guys have been emotionally cheating with Jeonghan." 

“I know him, I know Jeonghan.” Seungcheol pulls out the chair from the dining table, resting his head between his hands, he was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted.

“Yes- I get it-”

“NO!” Seungcheol yells for the first time ever. “I know him He’s the guy I was in love with in high school!”

“Cheol…” Joshua lowered his hand from his face. “That… That doesn’t make sense… He didn't know who you were.”

Standing in a fit of rage, he all but pulled his hair out, “I’m Andrew! I’m the person he can’t let go of while he’s the person who fit into my stupid little fairy tales you all make fun of me for!”

His slowly moves towards the dining table, sitting in one of the chairs, motioning him to sit as well.

“Like how your English name is Joshua, mine is Andrew. I used to go by Andrew, until my last year in high school when I decided I wanted to use my Korean name,” He looked over and saw Joshua’s face still masked with confusion. “I met him when I was a patient at the hospital for heart surgery.” Seungcheol didn’t have to look to know his best friend was surprised. It wasn’t a topic he brought up daily. “I basically lived at the hospital hooked up to an LVAD.”

“You were hooked up to an LVAD at fifteen?!” Joshua shouted. He wasn’t mad at Seungcheol, more so himself for not knowing that his best friend was that weak at one point in his life. That he needed a machine to pump his heart for him. “People rigged to an LVAD wire need –” Joshua watched as Seungcheol unbuttoned his shirt half way, showing the slightly pinkish scar that was raised, going right down the middle of his chest. He slapped a hand over his mouth, eyes almost tearing up, berating himself for never noticing after almost four years of living together, “Oh my God…”

Buttoning his shirt back up, he didn’t have the courage to look at his best friend. “I was on the waiting list, so I stayed there in case my condition got worse. I met Jeonghan there."

Still extremely confused, Joshua tried to piece everything together, "Than why doesn't he remember you? Was there a tumor that resulted into memory loss, I just don't get it."

"He needed surgery too because at the time… Jeonghan was blind.”


	2. Still You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Jeonghan has a mini anxiety attack in a later flashback so just a heads up just in case (In his flashback not the first one)*

_Seungcheol’s a curious boy by nature. So when he’s forced to stay in the hospital, he’s going to wander wherever his feet take him. Especially when his doctors give him the okay to walk around._

_It happened one December night. The hospital was still busy as ever but it wasn’t hectic. He walks around the halls he always takes where he finds himself in front of a room with the door wide open. The patient looked about his age, but there was something off about him. It wasn’t the fact that he had long straight hair that surpassed his shoulders, it was the fact that he was sitting up straight, staring directly forward at the wall in front of him._

_“Is someone there?”_

_Seungcheol jumped in shock at the sudden comment, “Uh… Yeah… Did you not see me?”_

_The boy sighed as if it was a pain to answer such a question, “No. I can’t see you. I’m… blind.” His voice was blunt, not rude though._

_Seungcheol entered the patient’s room, sitting down on the couch, “Oh… So, like… fully blind? Can’t see my extremely handsome face?” He felt relieved when he heard the boy laugh. “What’s your name?”_

_“Jeonghan Yoon.”_

_“Wow,” Seungcheol dramatically said, “It must be fate. I’m Korean too! Name’s Andrew Choi!”_

_Crossing his legs, Jeonghan continued to face forward but his timid smile formed into a playful grin, “So, Andrew, what are you in for?”_

_“Let me paint you a picture Mr. Yoon,” He moved to the foot of his bed, he could see Jeonghan’s head turning, following the sound of his voice. “So, I have this thing, inside my body. It’s pumping my heart for me. With a machine that I carry around like a fanny pack. I’m waiting on a heart donor, so you can only imagine how long I’ve been in here.”_

_Jeonghan’s face scrunched up. Slowly, he felt around in the air, reaching for Seungcheol. When he finally made contact with his jacket sleeve, he pulled him closer. Gently, the long-haired boy placed a hand over his chest. It took Seungcheol by surprise, but he relaxed as when he realized he was just feeling his –weak— heartbeat. Hopefully, Jeonghan didn’t feel the abnormal rhythm of the heart from the contact._

_“Sorry… This is the closest thing to seeing I’m going to get for a while…” Jeonghan whispered as he pulled his hand away. “That’s amazing. But sad. I hope a donor comes along soon.”_

_Seungcheol wanted to reply that he did too, but was interrupted by his worrisome nurse. “Andrew! There you are!”_

_“Nurse Jess I’m fine.”_

_“Yes but when I came for my rounds you were not in your room. Why are you walking around this late? You can’t bother other patients.”_

_“Don’t worry, he’s no bother.” Jeonghan had waved off._

_And just like that Seungcheol was whisked away back to his room._

_It wasn’t till two days later, when Seungcheol took another lap around did he notice that Jeonghan was still there. But this time, he met his parents._

_“Ah, you must be the other Korean boy our son talked about,” The mother smiled as Seungcheol entered the room._

_“Andrew, ma’am. It’s nice to meet you.” Greeting them how he would greet his parent’s Korean friends._

_“I’m glad Jeonghan managed to somehow meet a friend. I’ll leave you guys alone. Hannie, we’re going to grab your lunch. Is sushi good?”_

_When Jeonghan nodded, his parents filed out, closing the door while Seungcheol sat down on the edge of the bed once again. “Hello again.”_

_“You’re bored, aren’t you?” Jeonghan seemed to tease._

_“I’ve been in here for a month and a half, and in and out of here for two years. Let me live,” He joked back. “And your hair is extremely long. Do you know that?” Seungcheol reached out, twiddling with the ends of the brown locks._

_“Hey, if I can’t see it, it doesn’t matter what I look like,” Jeonghan laughed._

_For two weeks, it was like that. The two would be with each other at least once a day. Jeonghan had met Seungcheol’s parents one day when he wasn’t in his room –again, Nurse Jess had to lead the way to him. Seungcheol would occasionally yank him into a wheelchair and push him around the hospital, greeting long time patients and nurses who all seemed to be familiar with the bubbly teen that had an LVAD wire._

_One day, he finally worked up the courage to ask why he was still there, especially since he seemed fine._

_“I got into a car accident with my dad a long time ago. I’m pretty sure I was seven. Well, I just remember it was really bad,” Jeonghan let a bitter laugh slip. “The impact was on the right side of the car and that’s where I was sitting in the back. My dad got a concussion and a broken arm. Me? My leg was barely saved and I couldn’t see.”_

_“So, you weren’t born blind?”_

_“Yeah... But you know how it is. First generation immigrants, we had money, but we needed to save some more. The medical bills were high enough, and being blind isn’t impossible... You get used to it. The darkness… But, now? Seven years later. My dad’s one of the best professors at University of Pennsylvania and my mom’s a nurse.”_

_“So how’d you end up in the Upper East Side?”_

_“We came to visit the city for the weekend. It was a busy day, a lot of people. I feel pretty small, so I guess I was tossed around, ended up falling back and hitting my head on the concrete. So I was rushed here. I had a minor concussion and I was supposed to be discharged last week. But since I was already here, the topic of my eye sight came to play. We stayed to consult some doctors about a possible surgery.”_

_“Do you want to go through with the surgery?”_

_There was silence before Jeonghan looked down, hair falling, covering his face, “It wasn’t a big deal to me when I was little. I saw it as a trait that made me unique… But then the dread came. I forgot what my parents looked like. I took sunsets for granted. I never got to really admire the moon and the stars. I can only feel snow. I can only feel and I feel helpless. So, when I heard about my dad’s promotion and my mom finally finished nursing school, I waited a couple of years before asking. Asking if I could get this surgery.”_

_“What kind of surgery do you need?”_

_“I need a neurosurgeon. There was a talk about how it was my occipital lobe that was damaged from the crash and it can be fixed, but there are still risks.”_

_“You sound like a doctor yourself,” Seungcheol reached out and grabbed his hand._

_It became a habit they picked up, reaching out to each other, finding each other’s hand. Neither question it, they just allow it to happen. When they’re in Jeonghan’s room, in the cafeteria, Seungcheol guiding him down the halls._

 

_“So, what grade are you in?”_

_Jeonghan thought for a moment before speaking, “I should be a freshman, but I skipped second grade, and my dad home schools me so I’m technically a junior.”_

_“You’re a little smarty pants, aren’t you?” Seungcheol attempted (horribly) to braid his hair, “You’re only fourteen? How on earth are you almost done with high school? I’m a whole year older and you’re ahead of me.”_

_“It’s the props of having a professor as a dad. I feel like it’d be easier to learn if I could see letters and words again.”_

_“Let’s be real. You’re going to get your sight back before I get a new heart, so I want to be the fourth person you see. Right after your parents and your doctor.” The older professed, letting go of his hair to replace it with his hands._

_Jeonghan let out a laugh, “I’ll be your doctor. I’d make sure you wouldn’t ever need that machine thingy to pump your heart.”_

_“Doctors don’t use the word ‘thingy,’ Jeonghan.”_

_“But I’m being serious…” Jeonghan squeeze his hand. “If I get my sight back, I’m going to try my best to become a surgeon. Because nobody, most definitely not you, deserves to have a machine pump a heart. Not when your soul is in the right place.”_

_“And someone like you should be able to see the beauty in the world. The beauty in you and the beauty that is my face.”_

_Jeonghan’s jaw dropped in disbelief. “You’re such a loser!”_

_Seungcheol couldn’t help but laugh. He was laughing hard, but everything felt different. He felt this pain in his chest, it was getting harder for him to breathe._

_“Andrew? Andrew?” Jeonghan sounded panicked. He didn’t know what was going on, he could only hear his friend struggle breathing. “Nurse! Somebody!” He fumbled around tapping around the side of the bed, looking for the remote to call a nurse._

_Finally, nurses burst into the room, calling out for his doctor and different codes he didn’t know the meaning of. All he heard were voices and footsteps until there was complete silence. Jeonghan was left alone, not knowing the state of his only friend in his dark world._

_“What does this mean doctor?”_

_“It means that he’s stable for now, but he needs a new heart. Soon…”_

_“Where is he?”_

_“After what happened, he’s at the top of the transplant list.”_

_It was Jeonghan’s turn to visit Seungcheol. Except this time, he was found in the ICU._

_“Jeonghan?” He tried to straighten up but he couldn’t sit up that much. He watched as the nurse pushed the wheelchair towards the bed before leaving them alone._

_“Tomorrow’s Christmas Eve.”_

_“I’ve got a present for you. Well not really but- its good-”_

_“My surgery is today.” Jeonghan quickly cut in tapping around on the bed, searching for his friend’s hand, “I’m going to be able to see after today, which means I finally get to see you in person, I get to see that so called beautiful face of yours.”_

_Seungcheol took a deep breath, it was only laugh he was strong enough to breathe out. With all the strength he had, he slowly pulled Jeonghan to stand up. He reached out for his other hand, placing them on his cheeks. “You said feeling is your way of seeing.”_

_Jeonghan gave a small nod. Seungcheol felt his hands shaking against his face. His thumbs were the first to move, stroking his cheeks. Then the other fingers began stretching around, tracing his eyebrows, down to the bridge of his nose. He reached out and felt his hair, going towards his ears. Jeonghan’s fingers gently stroked his jawline, his thumbs landing on his lips. “Why… Does this feel like goodbye?”_

_Seungcheol placed his hands on top of Jeonghan’s “Not even thirty minutes ago, we were told that the list I’ve been on for over a year…  they finally have a heart for me…”_

_Joy was apparent on the younger’s face, “That’s amazing!”_

_“The donor is in Boston… They’re flying me out there in a couple of hours…”_

_Retracting his hands, Jeonghan’s eyebrows scrunched, maybe out of anger, maybe out of disbelief, “But… You’re supposed to be the fourth person I see when I get my sight back…”_

_“This was always the plan… This place was just temporary for me, Jeonghan,” Seungcheol had grabbed his hands once more, placing them over his heart, so he could feel the weakening heart. “It’d be faster to go to the heart. And my parents requested the best doctors, and they’re at Mass Gen.”_

_Jeonghan quickly pulled his hands back as if he were burned, wiping the tears he felt. “That’s one heck of a present.”_

_Seungcheol leaned over the side of the bed, reaching into the bag on the floor, he pulled out the present, “This is actually your gift. Merry Christmas.” Seungcheol wrapped something warm and fuzzy around him. “I told my mom to buy the most obnoxious colored blanket she could find. I hope it gives you a headache when you lay your eyes on it.”_

_Jeonghan somehow managed to laugh, “You know how I said I’m tired of just feeling?”_

_Nodding his head, he released a sigh, in replacement of an actual yes._

_“I didn’t mind feeling anymore. When you always grabbed my hand. When you played with my hair. The way my chest felt warm whenever I knew you were around.” Seungcheol watched as Jeonghan’s eyes watered once more right in front of him._

_Both of them were young, not a clue of what the real world was like, but hell, they know more about what it means to be alive than some of the people who’ve lived to be eighty. So whatever tumbled out of Seungcheol’s mouth next, he knows he means it. “Umm… I want to tell you-”_

_“Don’t say it.” The long-haired boy’s voice was sharp._

_“If my body doesn’t accept the heart-”_

_“Stop talking.”_

_“If the heart isn’t-”_

_“It will.”_

_The older knew the risks. Even if the heart was a perfect match, there was no possible way for anyone to know if his body would accept the new heart. No matter how much he loves happy endings, there was just no guarantee with his condition._

_“But if it doesn’t,” Seungcheol struggled to say the words, speaking took up a lot of his energy, but he had to say it, “I don’t want to regret never saying it, especially to you.”_

_“Stop, please.”_

_“You’re beautiful. I love you. Take it how you want it. If it’s as a friend, then so be it. If you have feelings like I do, then just know that, that’s how I feel. And I want to be the first person to tell you that.”_

_It was the purest and the most innocent kind of love. The love where you’ve never experienced it before, but you just know. It didn’t matter that they young and clueless, that’s what made it so pure._

_“I love you too.” Jeonghan blinked, feeling the tears flow nonstop down his face, “Even if we don’t really know what it means. You deserve to hear it because that’s how I feel too. And I better not be the last person who tells you that.”_

 

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

 

“I had the heart surgery and made a full recovery as you can tell. I went back to the hospital to surprise my nurse who took care of me. She’s the one who told me Jeonghan had gone back to Pennsylvania. I never imagined I’d ever run into him again.”

Joshua remained silent next to him on his bed staring at the ceiling. It was almost three in the morning. The story was like one somebody would write for a dramatic effect. But no, it was real life.

“I really hate you right now.”

“Because I made a full recovery?”

“No, you fucking imbecile,” He whacked him with his pillow, “Because even if I never intended to root anyone on, I’m rooting for you and Jeonghan.”

“Mingyu will be so offended.”

“He’ll get over it, especially once he realizes that you’ve been living your soulmate, fairy tale this entire time without knowing,” Joshua turned his head to look him in the eye, “Dude, you two met at your weakest points and felt love at the purest form. Then you separate to only find each other six years later? That’s some crazy fate shit right there. Big man isn’t playing around today.”

“Why do you think I froze up when I first saw him.”

Readjusting himself, they both went back to stare at the spinning ceiling fan, “So, what’s your move now Andrew?”

“Beats me Jisoo.”

“Don’t call me Jisoo.”

“Don’t call me Andrew.”

“He’s really only twenty?”

“We’re just a bunch of over achieving bitches, aren’t we?” Seungcheol laughed at their work ethics, “You went to a college prep-school and I took so many AP classes, that I entered college as a student half-way done with his sophomore year.”

“Jeonghan kicked our asses,” Joshua laughed along too, “We thought we we’re the shit for graduating a year early! He’s graduating two years early!”

Rolling over to his side, he let his arm dangle off the bed, now staring at his wall. “I should tell him…”

“That’s not even a question.”

 

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

 

Seungcheol decided to give Jeonghan some space.

Mingyu had apparently come to his apartment while he was visiting family, so when he got back, he found his taller friend a crying mess on the couch while Joshua was gently patting his back.

“I told him about you and Jeonghan…”

“Why didn’t you tell me! Now I look like the jackass who held you back from your prince,” Mingyu had sobbed into the pillow. If there was one thing Seungcheol forgets, is that he is just as much as a hopeless romantic as he is.

“You were happy with him-”

“Shut your whore mouth! Your story is like something you’d read in a Nicholas Sparks novel. Except you aren’t white, or heterosexual and live by a body of water,” He grumbled, “Screw my love life, we broke up anyway. Bro-Code be damned man because technically I broke the Bro-Code.”

Pleasantly shocked at the response he got, he sat down next to Mingyu, patting him on the back allowing him to cry on his shoulder instead of Joshua who needed to get ready for his date.

 

 

Nine in the morning. Who the hell knocks on somebody’s door on a Saturday at this time. To Jeonghan’s surprise, it turns out to be Seungcheol with coffee.

“Can I help you?”

Holding out the coffee cup and the donut bag, Jeonghan kicked the door open wider as he took the offerings. He wore a plain white tee with ripped jeans, his glasses on his nose. He seemed to be heading out soon.

For the umpteenth time, Seungcheol freezes up in Jeonghan’s presence. Not because of him this time, but what he sees crumpled on the couch. His eyes make a bee-line towards the couch; it’s an obnoxiously bright green blanket with pink, blue and yellow flowers all over it—a bit faded, probably due to the washing machine— resembling something you’d see in the seventies.

“I… Came to apologize…” He tried to focus on Jeonghan but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the oh so familiar blanket. “I havent been the greatest friend and I wanted to give you some space before I said sorry.”

Jeonghan sighed, stepping backwards. Sitting on the couch, Seungcheol took that as a cue to follow his lead. “I should apologize too, I guess this last semester has me stressed and my mind’s been everywhere.”

The question itched the back of his throat, wanting to blurt it out. “You said I remind you of Andrew. Can you tell me about him?”

The brunet gave him a questioning look before absentmindedly grabbing the worn blanket. “Why?”

Biting his lip, he prayed his eyes didn’t give his emotions away. He didn’t want to scare Jeonghan off, because for the first time in all the months he’s been with him, he might be able to see the same amount of emotion as well. “You seem to really care about him and you rarely talk about him.”

“There’s not much to say,” Jeonghan began fiddling with the seam of the blanket. “I met him when I was fourteen. May come to a shock, but I used to be blind…” his voice drifted off, as if he was scared of the reaction only continuing when he saw the understanding (and something else) in Seungcheol’s eyes, “He needed a heart transplant and he’s the closest thing I felt to loving someone. He left to get the new heart before I got my vision back.”

 

_Darkness. That’s all he saw. Did it not work? Bringing his hands up to his eyes, he felt a gauze like material on top instead of his eyelids._

_“Ma?” his voice was hoarse._ ‘Am I going through puberty again?’

_“Jeonghan, we’re right here,” He felt both hands being grabbed by his parents. On his right was his dad, they were more callus and bigger while on his left his mom’s were more smoother and smaller._

_He heard his doctor’s voice nearby, “We’re going to take the gauze off now Jeonghan are you ready? Now, you tell me if you see anything or not okay?”_

_Nodding, he felt the wrap get thinner and thinner around his head, until there was nothing. Slowly he lifted his eyelids, blinking once, then twice. Ignoring the words coming from the adults around him, he continued to blink, adjusting to_ ‘Brightness? The light is bright…’

_Looking down at his hands, he could almost hear the tears of joy coming from his mother who could only assume that her baby boy got his sight back. Immediately, his eyes went passed his hands down onto the blanket draped over him. It was an eyesore. Bright greens and neon colors all around. But it was wet. He could barely see the darkening green from it absorbing water._

_“Honey, you’re crying.”_

‘Oh… I’m crying…’

_“I… I can see…” He looked up at his parents, mouth quivering. With shaking hands, he reached out to the last face he saw before everything went black, “I can see you… I haven’t seen you in seven years.”_

_His father choked up, trying to hold back his tears, stroking his son’s head, “It’s okay. I see you everyday.”_

_Allowing his tears to fall freely, he decided not to comment on how much they’ve aged since the last time he was able to see them. He gave a grateful look to the doctor before he sat up quickly._

_“Where’s Andrew? Is he okay?” Jeonghan saw their faces dim, causing his heartrate to increase. Shaking his mom’s hand, he gave her a desperate look, “Mom, he- he’s getting a heart transplant. Is he okay? Where is he? Andrew’s supposed to be the fourth person I see! Where is he!”_

_“Jeonghan I need you to calm down-”_

_“Did he accept the heart?” His eyes swept the room, only to see three people there, unfazed by the excessive beeping he heard, “Andrew’s alive, right? He has to be alive!”_

_“Sweetie, we don’t know, we don’t know,” His mom attempted to soothe him and wipe the face full of tears. “He left this for you. This is him.” She pulled the blanket higher for him to focus on it._

_Jeonghan bit on his lips, trying to stop them from shaking, tasting blood from his teeth digging into them too hard. He turned to his dad who wore the same look of pity as his mom and doctor._

_Andrew isn’t dead. He can’t be dead. Andrew loves him. He’s supposed to be one of the first people he sees. He’s supposed to get the heart and survive. Jeonghan was supposed to be the last person who said I love you to him. Andrew was supposed to live._

_Before he could register anything else, two nurses came rushing, holding him down. The teen barely registered himself screaming at the nurses to get out as he gasped for air._

_“He’s hyperventilating, give him an oxygen mask,” The doctor placed a stethoscope on his heart. “Ma’am, sir, I think we all should step out, your son’s having an anxiety attack…”_

_The rest of the words slipped away from him as his head lolled to the side, staring at the couch on the opposite side of the room. Jeonghan could see his parents and the medical people step out giving him worried looks. And he hated it. The look of pity, worry, and sadness. When he was blind, he didn’t know what people were thinking until they spoke, he forgot how easy it was to read people’s emotions through their facial expressions. If that’s how his parents were going to look at him, and if he has to go through life knowing Andrew was gone and he wasn’t able to see him; then maybe he didn’t want to see at all._

 

“My parents tried to tell me there was a chance of him surviving, but I guess you can call me a pessimist,” Jeonghan shrugged, “I’d like to imagine he made a full recovery, that he gets to become whatever he wants to be. That he’d get to hear that somebody loves him. Maybe even run a mile and have a normal heartrate.”

“My name isn’t Andrew.”

Jeonghan gives him a questionable look, “I know? Do you think I don’t know that?”

“I’ve been lying.”

“Seungcheol come on, enough with the crypticness.”

The older grabbed Jeonghan’s wrist, making him look him in the eye, “You might hate me.”

“Why?”

Seungcheol’s eyes bore holes into the green blanket, “You kept it.”

“What?”

“This has been eating me alive. I didn’t know if you still cared and if you ever wanted to see me again but I just need to finally let you know.”

“Cheol, what is it?”

“I love you.”

The younger was taken aback at the sudden confession.

“Trust me at this moment, please trust me,” Slowly Jeonghan nodded, still unsure about this. “Close your eyes.”

As his eyes closed, Seungcheol brought Jeonghan’s hands up towards his face, placing them on his cheeks. He held onto his hands while he guided them to trace the outline of his face, “When I saw you, I didn’t recognize you until you sat down in the café, it was your eyes that gave it away. You got skinnier, dyed your hair blond, but I don’t know what I expected, I haven’t seen you since I was fifteen. But you were with Mingyu. That’s what I meant when I kept saying you were with Mingyu. I couldn’t say anything because I was terrified of how you’d react. But I kept pushing it off, because you were amazing to meet again, and I just couldn’t tell you that… it’s me. And that I’m still in love with you. That I’m-”

Jeonghan’s eyes flew open, his thumbs stopping on his lips, his eyes burning, “Andrew?”

“I haven’t been called Andrew in four years,” His eyes were spilling with love, “Seungcheol Choi… Is my Korean name.”

“You’re… You’re alive?” Jeonghan’s hands fumbled down to find purchase on his chest, feeling a faint line resembling a scar underneath his shirt, feeling his heart, his new heart, beating right underneath. His mouth tries to form proper words, unknowingly letting a tear fall from his face, “This is… This is… You’re nothing what I expected but everything I could have wished for…”

Seungcheol pressed his cheek further into Jeonghan’s palm giving him the loveliest smile. “I might not be the fourth person you see, but I still have an extremely handsome face. Hello again.”

He acts on impulse. Jeonghan doesn’t hesitate to reach out and pull him closer, he presses his lips against his Seungcheol’s as if he’d disappear if he even blinked.

Seungcheol removes from his hands from on top of Jeonghan’s to place it on the back of his neck, drawing him closer. He knew. For six years, this is what he’s been missing. Who he’s been missing.

Jeonghan felt his back hit the couch cushion, blanket falling to the floor. Pushing his fingers through Seungcheol’s locks, he tried to bring him as close as possible. He didn’t mean to, but he lets a moan escape when the older slips his tongue inside his mouth, grazing the roof of his mouth. Turning his head for some air, Seungcheol’s lips wonder away as they mouthed at his jaw. Jeonghan groaned when he felt the other sucking on his pulse while simultaneously grinding down on him.

“Cheol…” He moaned trying (not hard enough) to push him off, “Seungcheol we should stop.”

A shiver ran through his spine as Seungcheol dragged his lips down his throat. “You sure you _want_ me to stop?”

Reluctantly Jeonghan pulled him so they were eye-level once more, but scrunching his nose as Seungcheol continued to rub his hands up and down his sides. “God no, but we should,” the brunet reached up to place a chaste kiss on his lips.

Pouting, the older grumbled, pulling Jeonghan to sit up with him. “Yeah, I don’t think we should be having sex before we make things official.” But that didn’t stop him from giving him one last peck.

Jeonghan let out a hearty laugh as he rested one hand on Seungcheol’s shoulder with his head leaning on his arm. The adoration in their eyes were priceless. Something you could only see with the purest of love. And they still had it. Making Jeonghan a little more thankful than he already was that he got to finally see the love, and truth in Andrew – No, Seungcheol’s eyes.

  

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

 

“I got in!”

Seungcheol waved the paper around as everybody around him cheered. His brother jumping on his back in excitement while his dad ruffled his hair, completely proud of his son. His parents had decided to throw all of them a party for getting accepted into Med School the day of Seungcheol’s final and most anticipated school came in.

“Congrats Lion,” Hansol beamed as he held up a Columbia University sweater. “Welcome to your new hell!”

“Keep an eye on this one while I’m in LA would ya,” Joshua playfully glared at his boyfriend, “He keeps saying he’s gonna fly to California every month.”

“Do you _not_ want to see my face,” Hansol spread his arms out as if challenging Joshua.

“Are _you_ the one taking a gap year to stay in the concrete jungle instead of house hunting in the city of angels?”

The two exchanged stares, neither giving out, so Seungcheol decided to see himself out of the situation, where he was met with Mingyu’s bear hug.

“COLUMBIA!”

Laughing as he was lifted off the floor, he thanked the tall man. Mingyu was heading off to Seattle, Washington for medical research. Sure, it was far, but it was a dream of his (definitely didn’t have anything to do with his obsession with a television show. Nope. Not at all). And University of Washington is in the top twenty of best research schools.

As the party dragged on and congratulations were being exchanged, he couldn’t help but look around for his special someone. Sitting on the couch, he spotted Jeonghan chatting with both their parents most likely talking about med school programs and all the places Jeonghan had applied to. When the younger finally felt the other’s gaze he smiled excusing himself from the conversation, finding Seungcheol’s lap the best place to sit.

Plopping down, he wrapped one arm around the guest of honor’s shoulders, giving him a quick peck. “Hi, congrats.”

“I have been looking for you everywhere, were you hiding from me?” Seungcheol teased, pressing his nose against Jeonghan’s neck.

“No, I just had to take a call,” He gave him a quick smile as he stroked the back of his neck with his thumb.

Seungcheol’s face dropped significantly. Jeonghan only fiddled with things when he was nervous, and to add it with the unsure smile on his face, he knew something was wrong. “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

Jeonghan sighed and he instantly knew he was right because he quickly covered it up with a wide smile. “Let’s not talk about it right now, this is your party. You got into Columbia! It’s mainly about you!”

Abruptly standing up, Seungcheol pulled him by the wrist, leading him to his front porch. Closing the door behind him, the only light they were getting was from through the windows and street posts. “What’s wrong?”

The two have been dating for almost four months now and everything was perfect. When spring break came around, the two had spent a day in Philadelphia and met with his parents who had been pleasantly surprised to see the young Andrew they grow up. Hell, Jeonghan’s mom even shed some tears. The other half was spent with Seungcheol’s family who simply adored Jeonghan even more so than before. Everything was even more perfect now that he got accepted into Columbia since he still was able to see his friends and boyfriend even without taking a gap year.

“You’re going to be so far,” Jeonghan’s eyes showed nothing but sadness.

Seungcheol didn’t get it. What distance? If Jeonghan was going to go back to Philly for his gap year, he was only a train ride away? “What do you mean? I’m still in Manhattan, and you’re not leaving till next year.”

He watched as his boyfriend’s eyes traveled to the window, watching as their friends laughed and enjoyed themselves. His eyes skirting over the banners made for them. University of California for Joshua, University of Washington for Mingyu, Cornell University off to the side in replacement for Columbia for Seungcheol and University of North Carolina – Chapel Hill for Jeonghan.

“Chapel Hill called me earlier,” the brunet swallowed nervously, “They offered me an early internship in their research lab, stem cell research. So they asked if I’d prefer to start admission a year early.”

“That’s amazing! That’s a once and a life time opportunity-” The airway in Seungcheol’s lungs felt like they were cut off when he realized what that meant. That wasn’t the plan. The plan was to stay together so they could prepare for the distance. So they could be ready. They were supposed to have fifteen months left together, not three. “Did you take it?”

Biting over both his lips, the younger closed his eyes, he didn’t feel like he deserved to look at him, he nodded. “I’m so sorry.”

_‘He’s leaving. We’re being separated again.’_

The two stood there in complete silence, allowing the muffled music from inside to mix with the crickets and distant sirens from the outside world.

What could Seungcheol possibly say? Jeonghan’s a talented and bright student so he knew that he could thrive. Especially when he came back from the Chapel Hill interview, he talked non-stop about how impressed they were with his academics and passion, thanking Seungcheol because he’s the reason he was so passionate about the cardiothoracic field. “It’s because of you. You inspired me, it’s all because of you.”

But how could he let him go when he basically just got him back.

“You’re going to do amazing. You’re going to be amazing.”

“Five hundred miles,” Jeonghan whispered. “That’s four years. Throw in our residencies. That’s another four to seven years.”

Seungcheol just nods along, once he’s twenty-five he has about six years ahead of him. “I’ll wait for you.”

He saw the color drain from his boyfriend’s face. The younger began shaking his head in protest to whatever he was about to say.

“It’s an unbelievable opportunity. You’re going to do incredible things and learn so much,” Seungcheol’s voice cracked looking up at the moon in a sad attempt to hold back his tears.

“Stop. Talking.”

“It’s going to be a long time; med school is stressful and residencies and fellowships are hell-”

“Seungcheol please…”

Pulling him into hug, he felt both their hearts shatter. He felt Jeonghan burry his face in his shoulders as he finally allowed himself to cry.

“We spent six years apart-”

“Are you breaking up with me?” He heard the softest voice ask.

Leaning his head next to Jeonghan’s he let out a shaky sigh, shushing him. “No. But when you’re there, and you think it’s getting too much, I want you to know that I’ll be okay with us separating because I understand. It takes work to be in a relationship, and it takes a lot more work when it’s long distance, and to add on to us becoming doctors? Jeonghan that’s a lot to ask for someone and I’m giving us both an out.” He stroked his hair, trying to sooth away his sobs. “I want us to be able to focus on what we want to do without a hundred million concerns flying through our minds. We’ll stay together until we can’t. And we’ll understand.”

He felt Jeonghan’s arm wrap around his waist, squeezing him tighter. Pressing his lips on Jeonghan’s temple he mumbles into his hair, “I love you and I promise. _I promise_. This isn’t going to be the last one you hear from me.”

  

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

 

Through the open blinds, Joshua almost waves for the two to come back inside until he makes eye contact with his best friend holding a distraught Jeonghan. Immediately his face falls, as if they were exchanging a telepathic conversation. 

“Shit…” Hansol and Mingyu look up from his phone to see where Joshua was looking. “This isn’t happening. Not to them. Not again.”

They watched as the two separated. Jeonghan reached out and wiped Seungcheol’s tears away, while Seungcheol continuously rubbed his arms, he seems to be saying words of comfort as Jeonghan nods along with him. His hands travelled down his arms to his hands as he led them back inside, catching a couple of other people’s attention.

“Can I have everybody’s attention!” Seungcheol yelled in the living room, smiling at his boyfriend. When all of their friends and families’ eyes were on them, the Columbia bound took a deep breath before sniffing, “Jeonghan, is attending UNC Chapel Hill, not next fall, but this upcoming fall, because he was offered an internship for heart stem cell research because the administration has seen an incredible amount of potential in him.”

As everybody cheered, Seungcheol smiled proudly while Jeonghan leaned his forehead on his shoulder, trying hard not to cry again.

Everything was going to be okay. It had to be okay. They were going to get through this. If they didn’t, then they’d just have to defy the odds once again.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~6300.  
> When i say i love this AU, I love it so much. It's my favorite, and the next two are gonna be a ride. Hopefully will upload the rest before February ends.  
> Not gonna lie, i kinda cried writing Jeonghan's flashback and the ending but it's chill, idk if you guys cried or not. anyways, tell me what you think, I really like hearing your thoughts, it's what keeps me going. But yeah sorry for any mistakes and till next time!


	3. Old habits die hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where even after all these years, of all the habits they have, they still can't grow out of each other  
> *In which their love really has no boundaries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day <3

_“I love you.”_

_“you don’t have to tell me, I already know.”_

_Jan 1, 01:32_  
_From: Seungcheol  
Happy New Year! I hope Chapel Hill isn’t too dull_

_Jan 1, 01:40_  
_From: Jeonghan  
_ _Back at you, hope you aren’t bored stuck in NY_

_Aug 8, 00:10  
__From: Jeonghan  
__Happy 24_ th birthday! I hope it’s a good one.

 _Aug 8, 00:15_  
_From: Seungcheol  
_ _Thank you, I hope it’s a good one too_

 _(Draft)_  
_Aug 8, 00:11_  
_To: Jeonghan  
_ _It won’t be because you aren’t here with me_

_Oct 4, 00:01_  
_From: Seungcheol  
_ _HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEONGHAN! 26 is a gonna be great_

_Oct 4, 00:25_  
_From: Jeonghan  
_ _Thanks!_

_(Draft)_  
_Oct 4, 00:05_  
_To: Seungcheol  
_ _It’s not going to be great because despite the text messages I get five times a year, it isn’t enough because that’s what I look forward to the most. I know we need to focus on our careers and ourselves but I hate this. I hate that we don’t even talk about work or school because I’m still missing you even after four years._

  

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

 

“Well look who we have here?”

“Doctor Hong!” Seungcheol closed the file, handing it over the counter to the nurse. Turning towards the voice, he shoved his pen in his lab coat. “Why are you near me?”

The brunet wiggled around in his white lab coat, spinning around showing off his purple scrubs. “Don’t I look amazing? First day as an attending here!”

“I’ve been an attending a year longer than you Josh, you look fabulous,” Seungcheol led him towards the elevator.

There he was, Doctor Seungcheol Choi, one of the best neurological surgeons in John Hopkins. Joshua finished his residency and fellowship out in in University of the California Los Angeles, focusing on pediatric care. Sadly for Seungcheol, it took a little longer for Neurology. He spent ten years at Columbia for med school and his residency before finishing up his fellowship at John Hopkins.

Joshua wraps his stethoscope around his neck, giving his best friend an unsure look, “I had my yearly lunch with Jeonghan a while ago… He asked about you.”

If he was going to be completely honest, that last time he texted Jeonghan was on his birthday, which was last month. Ever since they decided to go their separate ways, keeping in touch had been extremely difficult. Even though both knew what they feel for each other is love, the distance and their schedules, they just knew it wouldn’t be easy. Especially since Seungcheol stayed in New York while Jeonghan went to North Carolina. It was bound to happen. The separation.

Joshua turns away slowly, leaving Seungcheol in his thoughts.

They made it almost two years before the unavoidable happened. When Jeonghan had knocked on his apartment door at three in the morning, when he was supposed to be in Chapel Hill and not in upper Manhattan.

_“I don’t want to do this, I can’t do this but I have to,” the younger had almost sobbed. “I couldn’t do it over FaceTime or text you because I didn’t know if I could live with myself after that.”_

_Even if Seungcheol knew it was going to happen, it didn’t stop the pain forming in his chest. Nodding, he opened his arms to be filled not even a second later._

_“I miss you so much,” the older whispered in his ear, “But do what you have to do.”_

_“I love you.”_

_“I know you do. That’s why it has to end.”_

“Doctor Choi,” one of the residents came up to him in a rush, “The patient, Dylan West, twenty-one, he’s asking for you.”

Snapping out of his trance, he blinked before refocusing, “Did you ask why Doctor Massie?”

“He said he wanted to talk to you about doing the surgery.”

 

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“Doctor Choi! The person I needed to see,” The chief jogged over to the man. Seungcheol just walked out of the operating room, removing his cap.

“Yes sir?”

“If it’s no trouble at all, I hope it wouldn’t be too much of a hassle to come in tomorrow. You and Doctor Hong. I know he just started a couple of months ago but he’s been doing an excellent job in the pediatric department.”

“If I may ask sir, it’s the day before Christmas Eve, what do you need us for tomorrow?”

The chief looked around before pulling him inside one of the waiting rooms. “I don’t want to get anybody’s hopes up, but there is a surgeon who’s stopping by. He’s brilliant and we gave him an offer but he declined last time, deciding to go back to UNC to work. But now he’s transferring and looking for a new place so Mass Gen, UCLA, and Stanford gave him some big choices. But I don’t want to let up.”

Seungcheol had to admit, he’s impressed. Someone who can get recruited by some of the best hospitals – including the one that saved his life – had to be amazing. If he combined the places he was recruited in and Joshua’s, it’d add up to this guy.

“That’s amazing sir, but what do you need me and Doctor Hong for?”

“He’s been visiting other hospitals right now. Last week he flew out to California to see UCLA and Stanford. Right now, he’s in Massachusetts, but he’s flying in tonight and stopping by tomorrow and I want you two to show him why John Hopkins is the best place for him. Plus, you guys have a lot in common and you might even know him.”

“How so?”

“He was in the same graduating class as you and Josh at NYU. He graduated top of his class at Chapel Hill and came here to complete his residency here three years ago as a cardiothoracic surgeon.”

Seungcheol unknowingly drops his cap on the ground, looking at the chief in disbelief. “Did you say Chapel in North Carolina? With a specialty in Cardio?”

Chief Gomez nodded sensing a bit of a shift in his aura. “Everything okay Doctor Choi?”

“No… I mean yes! Yes! I am fine and I’ll be here tomorrow and I’ll make sure Josh is here as well.”

 

“What’s wrong? You never page me unless you have a kid patient?” Joshua closed the door to their on-call room. “Cheol what’s up?”

“I missed him by two years, two fucking years!”

“I’m not following-”

With frustration, he dragged his hands down his face, his voice monotone, “Chief is trying to recruit a _cardiothoracic surgeon_ , from _UNC_ , who graduated with _us_ at _NYU_. Any of that ring a bell?”

Finally connecting the dots, he took a stop back. “Holy fuck, no way.”

Joshua leaned against the wall, watching as his friend laid down on the cot. He didn’t know what this meant. He knew that it meant they’d finally have to look at each other, be in each other’s presence. Joshua knew that neither of them wanted to split up, but it was the best thing to do at that moment, to get to where they are. He just hoped they were both ready now.

“I’m going to see him again… After ten years…”

“You don’t know it could be him. Remember David? And- and Kevin? They went to there for med school too.”

“Maybe… Hopefully.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Seungcheol and Joshua stood in the reception area, having casual conversation with some residents and interns. The whole hospital seemed to be buzzing about the possibility of getting the gifted surgeon.

“I heard that his first month as a resident, his attending went into labor during a surgery so he had to perform a Coronary artery bypass without an attending or anything because if he waited any longer for one, the patient would have coded.”

“He didn’t get suspended because since the only flaws he had was that he didn’t page an attending and his stitching could have been better.” One of the nurses who were training at the same time as the guy added.

“I asked my friend Emily because she was the chief resident three years ago, she forgot his name since she’s in UCSF now. But apparently all the attendings wanted him to scrub into their surgeries and wanted him to go to their specialty but he was so focused on cardiothoracic surgery.”

“Well, he apparently graduated with us.” Joshua scoffed, signing off some papers, leaning against the counter.

All of them were lounging around since it was only six in the morning. They all stood up straight when one of the nurses came running towards them. “Oh my god oh my god oh my god!”

“Come on, spit it out Lisa,” Seungcheol teased sipping his coffee. Lisa continued to fan herself as she panted.

“He’s freaking gorgeous! He’s the whole package! I swear we get all the hot Asian doctors!”

Joshua and Seungcheol froze, giving each other a look. Their three candidates have narrowed down to just one; only one of them are Asian. It wasn’t a look of panic, it wasn’t a look of anger, it was a look of anxiety. “You ready?”

“What?” Steven stares as the two. All eyes were on them now, “Doctor Hong, Doctor Choi? What’s that look?”

“We know exactly who he is now.” The two attendings straightened up – mostly Seungcheol – fixing themselves. Joshua gave his best friend a once over before gently picking at his hair, trying to make it more presentable. Before the neurosurgeon could protest, Joshua began dusting his shoulders and straightening out his lab coat and shirt collar. A bit annoyed, he swatted away the nit-picking hands. “Would you stop that!”

“Do you want to look like a high-strung surgeon?”

“Why?” Lisa almost jumped over the counter, dropping her charts, “Is there something we need to know?”

Seungcheol gave Doctor Massie and Nurse Lisa a cold stare, “Didn’t I tell you to do rounds and don’t you have bed pans to change?”

“Yikes… Touchy. Could this recruit be your Achilles Heel?” Doctor Massie teased causing his co-workers to coo.

“Let’s keep our personal lives personal okay guys?” Joshua scolds them but whispers loud enough for everyone, including Seungcheol, to hear, “But let’s be real, it’s way more than that.”

“I am going to ki-”

The words got caught in his throat when he saw the Chief and the recruit come around the corner. Jeonghan with all his glory. Jeonghan wearing his circular glasses. Jeonghan wearing a black button up collar shirt. Jeonghan wearing a John Hopkins lab coat. It was the first time he’s seen him in ten years and it’s the first time he’s seen him in this hospital but he’s never looked more perfect.

“Oh my god…” The nurses and interns whispered among themselves. They watched intently as their Doctor Choi became speechless.

“Well, there goes my chances with him.”

“You never had a chance to begin with.”

“Doctor Hong’s still available!”

“No, sorry, I’m married actually.” Joshua whispered to them, flashing his ring, not tearing his gaze away from Jeonghan who hasn’t noticed them just yet.

“To who?”

“You know Nurse Hansol, right?” The pediatric surgeon smiled brightly.

“Well look at that. You got your best friend here, your husband here, the kids love you here, this new guy here; God I hate you,” Doctor Massie grumbled to herself. Joshua laughed saying that’s a big reason why he’s here.

Finally. After an agonizing long time, Jeonghan finally looks up. And the look of horror on his face when he spots Seungcheol at the end of the hall. The others find his gaze on their beloved neurosurgeon, who is staring back at him.

Then the unexpected happened. Jeonghan runs the other way.

The stares all trail on Seungcheol who has a look of puzzlement on his face. The Chief snaps his head towards Seungcheol, but his face softened in realization. But the latter still didn’t understand. What just happened? He doesn’t understand what just happened, but he doesn’t wait. He watched him leave before and he allowed him to, but not this time. He run too. Runs towards his direction.

“I take it they knew each other?”

“Kinda… It’s been ten years,” Joshua lifts up Seungcheol’s abandoned coffee, looking around at his fellow co-workers’ anticipation before sipping, “But they’re also still very much in love with each other.” Joshua hides a smile and quickly walks away from the group, counting down till he hears the sound of disbelief and feet running right behind him for answers.

“In love!?!?”

 

He doesn’t know where he’s heading. He doesn’t know this hospital, if somebody were to ask, “Why are you running?” he’ll respond with “I don’t have a fucking clue!” It’s his fight or flight instincts kicking in. The moment he saw him, Seungcheol, everything in him just screamed to run. So, he runs.

He hears the footsteps following him down the stairwell, not wanting to stop. 

"Jeonghan! Wait!"

Jeonghan takes a sharp breath, stopping as soon as his hands met the door handle to enter the second floor. Slowly, he turns to finally face the demon that's been haunting him for the past ten years.

“I’m sorry,” He apologizes, trying to open the door but Seungcheol beats him to it as puts his hand on top of his on the door handle.

“The least we both can do is say hi to each other, right?”

They both look at one another. Neither will say it out loud or even admit it, but the two could only stare. Ten years. It’s been ten years since they’ve been face to face. It’s been so long since they decided to go their separate ways and late fate drive their course. Ten excruciating years of texts messages they’d get five times a year, and how having space and focusing on their careers when they think about each other nonstop. No matter how much they deny it, no matter how much they try, Seungcheol crosses Jeonghan’s mind while he crosses Jeonghan’s; every day.

“I can’t do that because everything is your fault.”

“Han-”

“No! Just shut up! I… I focused on my career. I did my job, I’m still doing my job. But you know what freaking sucked? Not knowing if you’d text me that you were ready for something! Getting real updates from Josh, but not telling me where you were planning on working. Turns out it was here, and he didn’t even tell me that you were an attending?”

“It’s been ten years…”

“You think I don’t fucking know that? I did everything, I even moved on!”

Stepping back Seungcheol’s ears began ringing. _‘Moved on?’_ “What…”

“I shouldn’t even be talking to you. You know what. Screw it. This isn’t for you, this isn’t for Josh, this is for me. I need this.” Jeonghan pushes Seungcheol, climbing the staircase towards the fourth floor where he left the Chief.

 

 

“Hold on, so you’re telling me that they met over fifteen years ago? In a hospital and inspired each other’s specialty? What’d they do?”

“Well, let’s just say Doctor Yoon was blind due to some damage in the occipital lobe for seven years. And Doctor Choi was attached to an LVAD at fifteen. Trust me, they didn’t do anything but try to live life.”

“Doctor Choi was hooked up to an LVAD? Did he get a new heart?”

“That’s what separated them. I make Cheol tell me the story about every once in a while, when he calls me stressed. I can recite the story like the back of my hand, I call it his perfect fairy tale, don’t tell him I told you but he’s a hardcore romantic.”

“YOU!”

All of the residence and nurses scatter when they see Seungcheol storming in their direction, leaving Joshua to fend for himself. _‘Selfish little bitches.’_

“Hey~ you!”

“You knew he was coming here, you knew he was looking for a job, you fucking knew!”

Joshua backed up a bit, he hasn’t seen him this high strung since he found out Josh and Hansol got married drunk in Atlantic City five years ago.

“I… did…”

“Okay then what did he mean by he’s moved on? What the fuck does that mean.”

“It… means that… He was engaged... But then he ran and called off the wedding, which is a main factor in him relocating.”

“I’ll kill you.”

“No you won’t. You don’t have time in your schedule to.” Joshua shot the snarky comment back.

“I’ll kill you tomorrow.”

“You think I’d be stupid enough to spend time you tomorrow? Bitch, please.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“Alright listen up doctors,” Chief Gomez stepped into the conference room filled with all the residents and attending. “I’m here to introduce you to our new head of cardiothoracic surgery. He may be younger than some of you but his credentials, recommendations and talent got him here. Everyone, please welcome Jeonghan Yoon.”

The said man stepped inside the room met with applause.

“I’m Doctor Yoon. I graduated from NYU and UNC Chapel Hill and completely my residency here in John Hopkins. I went back to North Carolina for my fellowship and spent two years as an attending there. And I was offered the position of head of cardio here so it’s good to be back.”

Another round of applause went around while Seungcheol stood in the back with Joshua. Jeonghan knew they were there, but chose not to look in their direction.                                               

“I know I’m only thirty-one and I’m a bit younger than most of the surgeons but I promise you, I know what I’m doing,” Jeonghan eased the stress lines on some of the doctor’s foreheads. “Any questions?”

_‘How are you? Why do you still look like you’re twenty-two? How’d you get engaged so easily? What’s the longest surgery you’ve done? Do you want to marry me?’_

Did Seungcheol ask any of those questions? Nope. Did he want to? Yes.

“Is it true you scored a five-twenty-five on your MCAT?” Steven asked eagerly. _‘Interns never change.’_

“Yes, I did but that was after the second try,” Jeonghan smiled, “You do know you have a doctor here that scored just as high, right?”

Seungcheol’s eyes widened when his ex gave a knowing look in his direction, causing some residents to look back at him.

“I told you Doctor Choi got that score too.” 

“That’s an almost perfect score, I hate them."

“No you don’t. You want to be them.”

Another hand shot up, an older surgeon, Doctor Reed, who was also in cardio. “Are you sure you can handle being the head of cardio? You seem a bit young and in over your head.”

Reed was an egotistical surgeon who’s been with Hopkins for about three years. He’d been considered to be the Head of Cardio for a while, that was, until Jeonghan had gone on the market.

“Not to sound narcissistic but you really don’t know me do you,” The young doctor shifted his weight to his other leg.

Joshua began snickering. Ever since he started three months ago, he’s had beef with said doctor after he didn’t take Joshua’s suggestion for a surgery which almost cost an infant’s life. Thankfully Joshua had cut in with the Chief when he did. “You screwed yourself Martin.”

“Oh please, I have five years over your head, what could you have possibly achieved.” The older surgeon scoffed back. Seungcheol knew his best friend had a million and one inappropriate comebacks for Martin, half which included his age and wrinkles.

“Doctor Reed, when did you first perform a coronary artery bypass; you know, if you can remember,” Jeonghan challenged.

Crossing his arms, the old white man, grunted at the condescending tone he has reciprocated, “It was my first year as an attending, I was two months into the program.”

“Mine was my first year as well,” Jeonghan smiled at the memory before zeroing in on his target, “Of my residency. But I’m sure everybody else knew that.”

Many doctors stared up at him with amazement and envy. _‘Can I marry you please? God, I miss you. Why are you so handsome?’_

“I know I’m young and I know I still have a lot to learn. But do not undermine me and my skill just because of my age. And just because I am the head of cardio does not mean I don’t know the ins and outs of general surgery as well. I can perform a Whipple in my sleep, because Chief Gomez taught me well. So anymore concerns you have with me being here, please talk to me instead of trying to belittle me.”

_‘Yup. Definitely still in love with this piece of shit.’_

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

 

Being in the early thirties seem like a drag at fifteen. People think it’s the end of the world when they’re no longer in their twenties. But ask Seungcheol, he’d say he feels exactly the same way he did at twenty-five, just five years older. Thirty-two and he felt (and looked) great. Except for the gaping hole in his heart. Yeah, he hated that.

“Everybody’s raving about the new Doctor Yoon,” Joshua walked in front of his best friend, leading him into the pediatric wing. He needed him for a consult for one of his patients. “They say he’s amazing.”

_“You’re going to do amazing things.”_

“That’s good, I’m glad,” Seungcheol sighed, putting a smile on his face as he enters the patients room.

“Hey there Ben,” Joshua greeted the little boy, “This is Ben Matthews, nine-years old. His parents came to us worried, he’s been having head pains along with some numbness on the face.”

Squatting down, he beamed a flashlight, into his eyes, “Did you hit your head or fall anywhere recently Ben?”

“He was playing soccer the other day, when he tripped. The back of his head it the goal post real bad. But he said he was fine,” His mom said nervously.

“Hong, get him an MRI, I want to make sure I’m right,” He pulled the two adults away, “Ms. Matthews, I believe your son may have an aneurysm. We’re going to do an MRI to see where it is, and if you’re comfortable, we’ll go in first thing tomorrow morning…”

Seungcheol’s good at his job. He knows he is. He worked extremely hard to get to where he is at this moment. There were days where he thought about what difference it would make if he were with Jeonghan throughout it all. Would he still have been at the very top? Would he have graduated first in his class? Those were the questions that kept him up at night.

“You two should just suck it up and make out in the elevator,” Joshua poured himself a fresh cup of coffee. “We aren’t teenage girls getting giggly over the star football player. We’re mother fucking doctors. We save lives. Now go save your love life.”

That was easier said than done. Seungcheol had shot back that maybe they should get drunk and get married in Vegas, therefore it’d be a bit classier than Atlantic City. He received a dum-dum to the head and a “Well at least I’m happily married going onto my fifth anniversary!”

“The irony that you’re a kid doctor but you got married in the most unromantic, unceremonious, anti-fairy-tale way!” He yelled down the hall to only have Joshua skip away replying, “I know!” in a very proud tone.

Walking into the elevator, Seungcheol thanked every single God there is when he saw Jeonghan was inside. Today had to be a good day. He hadn’t gotten an opportunity to speak to him since their first encounter.

“Doctor Choi.” He spoke without looking up from his phone.

“Really? We’re on formalities now?”

“Do I want to speak to you?”

“You’re the one who ended it.”

Dropping his arms to his side, Jeonghan stared at him, appalled, “You’re the one who gave me an out.”

The elevator door dinged open, Seungcheol striding out before turning back to face Jeonghan, grinning from ear to ear, “You finally looked at me.”

 

 

It was one of those days when Jeonghan was thankful for being a surgeon and that Seungcheol was also a surgeon. Like when he wanted to eat lunch and had no worries about running into him.

“So, what’s the deal with you and Doctor Choi?” Kyla asked poking at her strawberries.

“Too soon bro,” Hansol shook his head, mouth full of chips.

Drinking his Gatorade Jeonghan could only roll his eyes. He was ready to answer when Joshua sat down next to them, dropping his tray unceremoniously, “They’re playing the ‘I’m so over your ass’ game when really, they’re both still so whipped for each other.”

Jeonghan scrunched his nose at the statement. It’s not like he was begging the other to come back to him-

“Who’s that?” The cardio surgeon sat up too quickly when Seungcheol walked passed the window of the attending’s lounge with a girl whom he had his hands on her shoulders.

“May. She’s an intern who aspires to be a neurosurgeon like Choi. She worships the ground he walks on,” The general surgeon flicked the strawberry leaf off her finger.

“Yeah okay. What’s their relationship?” Jeonghan demanded.

“Mentor and mentee,” Hansol gave him a knowingly look. 

“Whipped,” Joshua laughed.

 

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The emergency room. Yes. The place where interns occasionally (read as always) seem to screw things up. Jeonghan learned that his first year as a resident and always wondered if he was that bad. Even on a beautiful day in Baltimore, there always has to be a misstep with them.

“Lina Durante, fifteen, fell from a tree, broken leg, possibly fractured tail bone-”

“Okay page Doctor Hong, and Doctor Stephen from orthopedics,” Jeonghan wore his stethoscope, trying to hear her heart beat, “Why didn’t you page Hong first?”

“Well she suffered from a heart attack-”

Taking the instrument out of his ears, giving her look that sent shivers up her spine out of fear, “Why the hell didn’t you say that in the first place?!”

“I’m-”

“Go run a tox screen, and get her an MRI and a CT,” he turned to face her once more to only see her standing there, deer in the headlights, “I SAID GO! And page Doctor Choi while you’re at it!”

Jeonghan glanced back at the patient, quickly vomiting out the dosage and drugs to push into her as her vitals began to stable.

He spoke to her friends who apparently had no idea what was going on. One minute they were having fun in their backyard and then the next Lina was unresponsive up in the tree before falling down.

She had rushed back minutes afterwards with the results, giving him an unreadable expression. He was about to ask until he saw what was printed on the paper. “What the actual fuck?”

Running towards the MRI room, he was met with Joshua and Seungcheol waiting for the scans to appear. The two turned, curious looks written on their faces.

“We have a problem,” Jeonghan heaved, passing the results to the two. The same reaction rushed over their face.

“She has traces of _meth_?” Seungcheol stood, looking at the girl through the window.

“If she had a heart attack, and if what the kids told me was true, then her heart attack was from her going through withdrawal.”

“Well, looks like she has some brain hemorrhaging,” Seungcheol sighed, removing his glasses. “I’ve gotta get in there.”

“I have to scrub in and repair the damage,” Jeonghan stared at the scans.

The three began planning out the surgery and how they were going at it. Walking into the operating room, they wore their caps before washing up.

“Once I finish the repair she’s all yours. Make sure to monitor her BP and page me if her blood clots,” Jeonghan said to Seungcheol than to one of the interns.

“I have to go in first and stop the brain bleed,” The two stopped washing, both turning towards Joshua who seemed to be caught in the middle.

The peds attending shifted awkwardly as he felt their eyes burning on both sides of his face. This was technically his patient, and his decision. “Why… don’t we all get along right now… because… I think we should have Doctor Choi go in first, and once the hemorrhage is all cleaned up you can go in and repair the damage. Yes, clotting is a risk and could definitely travel to the brain, but as of right now we have to drain her.”

“Hah!” Seungcheol basically jumped up and down as he entered the OR, arms still dripping with water.

“Real mature!”

Joshua grumbled as he followed the two into the OR, wondering just how old they were.

 

“Meth! _Meth_! How the hell did she end up with meth in her system?” Jeonghan collapsed onto one of the beds in the on-call room ready to sleep.

“Josh said that her parents ran a meth lab. Kid was exposed to it, so when she slept over at her friend’s house, she went into withdrawal,” Seungcheol climbed onto the top bunk, exhausted after hours in surgery. “Social worker is coming by in a couple of hours.”

Both knew what was going on. They were having a normal conversation after an entire month of just ignoring each other and pointless jabs. Neither were willing to bring it up, scared that they might cause a riff in a good thing that was happening.

The two continued to discuss how parents could be so careless and not consider the consequences, when after ten minutes he began to only receive hums in reply. Seungcheol knew Jeonghan was falling asleep; old habits die hard. Leaning over the guard rail, he peeked at the bed bellow him, to see the cardio surgeon knocked out, hugging one of the pillows with his pager right next to his head.

He whispered his name to see if he was still awake, so when no response came, he knew he was in the clear.

The neurosurgeon knew it was a risky move, but it wasn’t going to stop him. Asking him not to be near Jeonghan was like asking a dog to sit when presented with a tennis ball; it was a hard feat. When he got down from the bunk, gently, he sat on the edge of the bed, careful enough not to wake him. 

Carefully reaching out, Seungcheol brushed the fringes away from his eyes. It was the first time in a very long time he’s been able to physically touch the younger. _‘I’ve missed you so much. But you’re here now. I just don’t know what to do with that. I want you to still love me, but I don’t even know if you can.’_

Everyone knew that life would always arise challenges for people take it. Seungcheol just hated the fact that his challenges always presented themselves as Jeonghan.

He wanted to kiss him, but he knew he couldn’t either. Did it still feel the same? Would he still feel his whole body heat up? Opting not to find out, he exhaled and placed a light kiss on his forehead before exiting the room.

Only then did Jeonghan’s eyes open, staring at the indent that Seungcheol had left. If only the older had grown out of his habit of thinking out loud.

 

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Leaning on the counter, Hansol took the coffee out of Joshua’s hand before downing it. He spent the entire morning running back and forth to tend to a seizing patient and he was exhausted.

“Morning to you too Mr. Grumpy,” Joshua snatched it back, “Hospital kept you busy last night.”

“You have no idea,” his husband whined. Digging into his pocket, he held out a heart shaped lollipop, “But happy Valentine’s Day.”

Joshua laughed as he unwrapped it. There was a high chance the nurse had taken it from the jar on the third floor, but he didn’t have the heart to expose him. It was a simple gesture, but still sweet. “How are Derek and Meredith doing?”

“McHotty has been doing rounds while McDreamy hasn’t clocked in yet,” Hansol laughed to himself, “You’d think the person in charge of healing hearts would be the first one in on Valentine’s Day?”

“Are people actually calling them that?” Joshua went around the counter to sit at one of the computers.

“Yes actually. You used to be McDreamy did you know that?” Hansol leaned over the counter with a devilish smile on his face, “That was until they found out you were married to me, completely crushing their dreams, so now you’re labeled as ‘off-limits’ to the interns.”

The two paused their conversation when Jeonghan walked up to them, a rather large Starbucks coffee in hand while wearing a frown. Deciding not to poke fun at the disheveled surgeon, Joshua chose the safer route: “Everything okay?”

“Seokmin called last night,” he answered after downing a major amount of his coffee, “I picked up, hoping for a regular conversation, but no. He wanted to see if I’d come back to him, to which I answered no. To where he got mad and now I’m here because I forgot how much I hated this stupid Hallmark holiday!”

That was a lie. Jeonghan used to love Valentine’s Day. Well, when he did, it was because Seungcheol has surprised him twice by spending the day with him before flying back to New York. Maybe that’s why he didn’t really appreciate it that much when he was with Seokmin. He was used to treasuring the twenty-four hours he spent with his ex-boyfriend, so the value of the holiday went to the negatives after their break up.

“Doctor Choi’s apparently spending Valentine’s Day alone,” Jeonghan overheard a couple of interns gossiping behind him. One thing he hated about being at a teaching hospital; giddy interns.

“Hop on that May, you know he’s interested.”

He swore he felt a vein burst in his forehead hearing the name May.

“Are you two here to become actual doctors or would you like a recommendation letter for Match dot com?” Jeonghan abruptly stopped to face his current bane to his existence.

The two interns froze in their shoes. “I don’t give a damn if it’s Valentine’s Day, patients first, your lives second,” he hissed, eye twitching at the sight of the intern who messed up the other week, “Which one of you are named after the month?”

The blonde pointed to the short haired brunette next to her. _‘Perfect, it’s her.’_ He tried really hard not to show his disdain.

“Well, Ms. Olsen, since you seem interested in Seungcheol, why don’t you go help with post-ops?”

“With who?”

Finishing his sentence with a period, he closed the file before storing it back in its place, “Doctor Choi’s first name,” Jeonghan raised an eyebrow, “Thought you’d know since you’re rather fond of him.”

“N-no! I think I’ll be good here. I promise I won’t speak!” May stuttered.

“Not necessary,” he sighed nonchalantly, “Doctor Jackson here will be scrubbing into my surgery today. You can go.”

 

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“I know you two are co-workers but he’s the epitome of hell on earth!” May grumbled once her and Seungcheol left their last patient’s room. “Like I get it, being a head surgeon is tough but still?”

Seungcheol let out a low chuckle as he handed his binders back to the nurses, “So, I take it Jeonghan’s giving you a hard time?”

“Immensely!”

“And I’m guessing you haven’t heard any of the buzz that’s been flying around the hospital either,” he shoved his hands in his lab coat pockets, giving his intern an amused look.

“Nope. I refuse to hear anything that could be lies or rumors that deal with you, it’s just my way of trying to respect you.”

The attending eyed his intern with amusement, anticipating for her reaction, “Well Doctor Olsen, it seems my ex, has made you his new target.”

The look on her face was almost comical. Seungcheol would have laughed if it weren’t already for the embarrassing shade of red she was turning.

“You… you’re- I… Doctor Yoon is- he’s… ex? As in ex-lover?”

Nodding, he took pride in his ability to surprise people, “It was a long time ago; our history is complicated.”

Complicated didn’t even begin to describe them. Complicated was an off and on relationship. Theirs was a shit storm.

“Well… are you over him? Because if you are I was just wondering if you wanted some company tonight, since it is Valentine’s Day.”

Taken aback, Seungcheol’s eyebrows flew up. He never expected his intern of all people, to make a move on him.

“Uhhh…”

“Unless you aren’t completely through with Doctor Yoon; are you?”

 _‘Am I?’_ The neurosurgeon stared at her. She’s a beautiful girl, gifted and talented with hope in her eyes. But was he ready to let go of Jeonghan when he was in arms reach? He’s been holding onto what they’ve had for years when Jeonghan had let go a long time ago. Was he ready to let that go? “I guess I am…”

“Olsen!” Joshua appeared out of nowhere, “I’ve been paging you, Chief Gomez asked for all the interns and residents, you’re missing.”

Immediately the intern scurried off, dread on her face for not getting an official answer from her beloved attending.

Looking around, Doctor Hong waited before approaching Seungcheol. “Get your shit together,” Joshua hissed at his best friend, “I can’t keep saving your ass,” his eyes flickered over to Jeonghan who was going over some charts with Hansol, “Because right now, you better save it before he signs it as D.N.R.”

Only Joshua Hong could turn his love life into a hospital analogy. He was right too. Seungcheol couldn’t just wait around for his relationship with Jeonghan to start again, he had to keep trying until Jeonghan gives it all up.

As he approached the cardio surgeon, Hansol decided his question was important for another time.

“Hi, umm,” Seungcheol began messaging his palm, a nervous habit he seemed to have picked up, “Can we talk?”

“About what?” Jeonghan’s nose scrunched slightly, Seungcheol knew it was from the smaller voice crack.

“Us.”

“Us? Didn’t you just say you were completely through with me?” His voice was like ice against his skin. He felt glued to his place as Jeonghan walked away. This was what Joshua meant by get his shit together.

 

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Rushing into the Attending’s lounge, he found Jeonghan laying on the couch, scrub cap on top of his face.

“I didn’t mean it, you know how I am! I say jumbles of words when I’m out on the spot.”

“You don’t have to defend yourself, we’re just exes,” the other mumbled, sitting up. “Go on your date with Ms. Princess.”

“You’re jealous?”

“No shit I’m jealous!” He threw his cap at Seungcheol’s face, “because not even two weeks ago you go say you miss me and want to do something! Where were you all these years then huh? Nowhere!”

Not even giving time to process that Jeonghan heard what he had said, he began arguing with him. “I don’t get it, I gave you an out! You moved on! So why are you still angry at me!” Seungcheol voice was pleading, “I said you were going to be an amazing doctor. And you are! I wanted you to be the best and you are! If you needed us to break up to achieve that then I was okay! I don’t know what else I could have possibly done!”

“I wanted you to fight for it!” Jeonghan yelled. “I needed you! I wanted you to say that even if I gave up you’d still be there! But no, you cut me off! Once I got back on the plane I barely heard from you!”

“I said we should only end it if you felt like it was getting too much-”

“IT _WAS_ TOO MUCH!”

Seungcheol sucked in, stunned at the tone Jeonghan was using.

“Being away from you was too much! Having doubts in my head was too much! I went to you because I needed reassurance! I wanted to see if you gave _yourself_ an out.”

They both stood there in the empty lounge, gaze intense.

“You’re the one who made me think you needed the space. You’re the one who went off and got engaged. Yeah, I’ll admit, I had my fair shares of one-night stands and flings, but I never went around telling someone else I loved them.”

How Seungcheol managed to spin this one on him astounded him. He felt guilty none the less.

“Yeah, I was expecting us to break up because I thought we would have a chance to be together at some point in our lives, when the odds were finally in our favor. But no, while I was having meaningless flings or spending my only days off in my apartment sleeping, dreaming about what our future would look like, you were in a long-term relationship with someone else.” Raw hurt was heard.

Meaningless sex was one thing, but telling someone you loved them?

Looking up at the ceiling, Jeonghan tried so hard not to let the tears escape. When he felt Seungcheol brush past him, he held onto the other’s wrist, “Do you know how badly I wished Seokmin was you? The night of my intern exam, how I wanted to call you so you can tell me everything was going to fine and not him on the other line. Or when I FaceTime Josh and he tells me how cutthroat neurology is on you I bite my tongue because I was going to tell him how I was going to try to get to you. Should I even mention how when Seokmin proposed I blindly said yes because it was on your birthday and you were the only thing that occupied my mind that day. I postponed the wedding for an entire year before I called it off because it didn’t feel right. Should I even mention how Mass Gen. was my choice until I saw you, because you were the deal breaker?”

They stood there, echoes of the clock ticking bouncing between them. Both wondered when the confessions would end between them since technically this would be their third.

“Marry me.”

 _‘Someone sedate me I’m being delusional…’_ “What?”

“Jeonghan, marry me.”

“Seungcheol…”

“Do you remember when I needed a new heart and when you were going into surgery. I told you that I loved you, and I wanted to be the first person to tell you that,” Seungcheol’s heart was pounding hard in his chest, “and ever since then, I’ve wanted to be the last person to tell you that. I don’t want anyone else to say that to you. And when you said you didn’t want to be the last person to tell me that, I do.”

Jeonghan remembers. Remembered how heartbroken he was at the mere aspect of Seungcheol not surviving ate him alive. How happy and warm he felt when Seungcheol said I love you for the first time. Even all the other countless of times they said it when they were dating, every cell in his body screamed “I love you too.”

“I know it’s sudden and I know we haven’t talked properly, but I just don’t want to make the mistake of losing again.”

Finally turning around, Jeonghan scrunched his eyebrows, as if finally connecting the dots to what he was proposing, “You want to get married?”

“You’re thirty-one, you’re not getting any younger,” Seungcheol teased.

Jaw dropped, the younger smacked his shoulder with the back of his hand, “That’s the best you could come up with? That’s how I’m supposed to say yes?”

“I mean yeah- wait, you’re saying yes?”

Jeonghan paused, trying hard not to smile as he licked his lips, it was a no-brainer. Once the three-letter word escaped his lips, Seungcheol tackled him back onto the couch squeezing the life out of him as he buried his face in the crook of his neck.

Jeonghan laughed when he felt his scrubs dampen on his shoulders, “Oh my god, are you crying?” 

“Shut up, I missed you and you still smell like that stupid lavender shampoo,” he continued to laugh when Seungcheol’s breath tickled his neck.

“Bye the way,” Jeonghan lifted Seungcheol’s head so they could finally look at each other, “Hello again.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“So, what did you do this weekend Han?”

“I got married.”

“That’s nice,” Joshua nodded stepping out of the elevator. When the elevator began closing, he heard running to be met with a hand in between the doors, “You got married?!”

"Not in Atlantic City, that's for damn sure!"

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was over 7000 and like I said I love this story a lot. It's still Valentine's day in the US so here's my contribution to society. Sorry if there were any mistakes and @ the real doctors, I'm so sorry. Anyways, comment and tell me what you think! I appreciate you guys!


	4. I'm with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Jeonghan is protective, possessive and fragile. While Seungcheol is loving it for every minute he's awake for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *A little bonus chapter. I wrote the first chapter and this chapter together originally I'm pretty sure, but I wanted to touch more on the in between  
> Last chapter here we go!

 

 

Jeonghan’s eyes twitched at the sight. It was sickening to watch really. Did she really have no shame? At all?

“Sweetie pie is there a problem?”

The doctor reverted his attention on the patient, whom he forgot he was attending to, and smiled sheepishly, “No, not at all Mrs. Marley. Have the chest pains subsided? Are you still having palpitations?” His eyes flicker out the door for a split second once again to see them still standing there.

“Not since the surgery Doctor,” She reassures. The patient looks out the door to just take a peek at what he’s seeing. “Now which one are you thinking about pushing off a cliff? The handsome one or the beautiful one?”

“At this moment in time… Both.”

“Who’s the special one?”

“Doctor Choi, he’s actually…” He allowed the flash of his ring to do the explanation. Yes. Marriage; the only difference between dating and marriage is the flashy piece ring in Jeonghan’s opinion. Three years in and they’re still happier than life. Except for the slight nuisance that is Seungcheol’s still pining intern turned resident.

“Kick his ass.”

_‘Oh it’s not his I’ll be kicking.’_

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

 

“She follows him around like a lost puppy! I can’t take it!” He slams his tray on the table. Joshua and Kyla flinch at the sudden sound, both handing him their slice of cake — it’s what calms him down.

“She’s just an eager resident who thinks she’s going to specialize in neuro, let her be,” Joshua tried to reason with his best friend.

“No, you think I don’t hear the things that go around in this hospital? People talk Josh. And the residents are so much more love struck this time around. Like I get it, my husband's hot, move on!” 

“It’s true,” Kyla nodded, being closer to their batch than the other attendings, she knows the gossip more. “May’s already gotten the talk from Gary and Max, but she says it’s a harmless crush.”

But it was far from harmless. When there are hot attendings, it’s a difficult situation to try and not flirt or put something on them. Having a crush on an attending who is currently married to the head of cardio, was even harder, especially if he has quite the green eyes.

“It’s been almost three years! Can she get over herself? Cheol isn’t even that good looking!”

The two other doctors gave each other knowing looks. They both knew Jeonghan thought Seungcheol was the epitome of perfection while Seungcheol thought Jeonghan was living proof the God exists.

“Have you at least talked to Seungcheol about this?”

“He’s not doing anything wrong! That suck up is, which is ruining my quality time with my husband.”

“By that you mean when you both are on call, and Seungcheol's about to ravish you?"

“Yes, and we haven’t been able to do it in the past two weeks, I am dying!” Jeonghan didn't even hesitate with his answer.

Having down time is considered a blessing as a surgeon. So when Seungcheol and Jeonghan share free time, they want to spend it together. But spending it together meant staying in the hospital’s on-call rooms or sitting at home waiting to be paged. And sadly for Jeonghan, the neurosurgeon is the one who always gets paged.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Stretching his arms out in front of him, Seungcheol yawned away his drowsiness after his – very successful – craniotomy. Knowing Jeonghan had a rounds at eight, he creeps into the on-call room to find his sleeping husband sprawled on the small bed. 

“Babe?” He sat on the edge, placing a hand on his hip, shaking him slowly. 

“Heart transplant… so long… so tired.” Jeonghan waved him away.

Grabbing Jeonghan by the wrist, he slowly pulls him up to a sitting position, pretty much dead weight; in result, he ends up slumping on the older’s body. Seungcheol laughs at the response when the cardio surgeon’s head slumps down on his shoulder. He slowly begins to rub his hands on Jeonghan’s back, not knowing if he was trying lull him awake or put him back to sleep. “Want to at least tell me how your night went?”

Watching with adoration, Jeonghan managed to pull himself back and smile, “I spent the day waiting for U.N.O.S. to call, then having someone fly over to Virginia to pick it up. Stressing over you and your stupid resident and trying to find an intern that isn’t obsessed with me and trying to impress me so they could hop onto one of my surgeries like leeches.”

“Well you’re someone who’s easy to be obsessed about. Because I’m obsessed with you,” Seungcheol teased.

“Yeah well, _some_ people aren’t too found about me.”

“They don’t matter…” Seungcheol strokes his cheek with the pad of his thumb. Before anything could go any further, the door swung open to much of Jeonghan’s displeasure. Dropping his hands from his husband’s face, he could hear the brunet grumble. “How can I help you May?”

“Oh, um Doctor Massie needs a consult for one of her patients-”

“It’s six o’ clock in the morning. He just finished surgery. What does she need Seungcheol for?”

“Actually, she asked for you Doctor Yoon.”

A bit stunned, he looked at Seungcheol who had an amused smile on his face. He looked between him then the intern. “I’ll be right there,” Leaning in he planted a chaste kiss on the neurosurgeon’s lips, lingering a little longer to make sure May can take it in. “See you later.” 

He stands and brushes past the girl, leaving Seungcheol on the bed with a bright smile on his face, shaking his head. He knew exactly why he did it, not that he minded; Seungcheol found it rather endearing that Jeonghan was being a bit possessive. 

He remembers talking with the younger about it and how exasperated he was. He went on and on about how he has complete and utter faith in him but not her. "Babe, I swear I wouldn't put it passed her if I found you and her in the on-call room with her dainty little fingers trying to defile you! And if you said it wasn't what it looks like I'd believe you! Oh my god, did I just give you the perfect excuse to cheat on me?"

Seungcheol could only laugh at the absurd statement, "Han, don't worry, the closest thing her dainty hands will ever come close to me is if she's trying to save my life. And if she is, you'd probably step in and save me first."

"Damn right I would," Jeonghan mumbled as he wrapped his arms around his waist and pressed his face to Seungcheol's back.

"Why am I the little spoon?"

"Shut up you enjoy it."

 

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

"So that's what that little tramp thinks of me?" Jeonghan gasps, slamming the folder on the counter. It’s not his proudest moment, but he needed to know. Doctor Olsen had apparently had gotten on Joshua’s and Hansol’s last nerve as of recent. Apparently switching her attending with other residents so she’d be under Seungcheol’s as well as dumping a couple of files on the nurses to take care of. Jeonghan could have laughed at them for two weeks ago Joshua was the one telling him that she was just an “eager resident” but now he was the one after her throat after he was left with nobody at his service for the third time that week because mix-ups.

"She always complains about how you rub it in her face that you two are married. I think it's hilarious," Gary continues to rat out his colleague. “Why do you think she’s never on your service?”

As he jots down the note on his notepad, he gladly informed the intern that he had won himself a valve replacement surgery tonight. Jeonghan could see Gary in his peripheral jumping up and down from excitement. Eager interns.

But it wasn't until after rounds did he notice something was off.

“Have you seen Doctor Choi?” Jeonghan walks fast through the halls, Gary and another intern followed quickly behind, “He was supposed to be here an hour ago.”

“No sir, I’ve been doing rounds with Doctor Hong so I’ve been in the pediatric wing.”

"And I've been with you all morning." 

They continued walking, he didn’t know why but he felt himself being pulled towards the Emergency Room. He had no business being there, he wasn’t paged, but for some reason, he needed to see it.

Walking up to the nurse at the counter he was about to ask if she had seen his husband only for the doors to fly open, gurney after gurney. “Car crash, a pile up involving seven cars.” Paramedics called out as nurses and residents scrambled around. Jeonghan hopped next to the closest gurney that wasn’t occupied by a doctor at the moment, asking for status.

“Michelle Dance, twenty-two, minor injuries, possible broken leg, suffering from a concussion.”

“Give her bed three,” Jeonghan ordered as he jumped to the next patient internally cursing when he saw the young looking face, could be twelve at most, “Put her in trauma two, I’ll be there in a second.” Looking around him, he saw the two interns waiting for his orders. “Doctor Clarke, you’re with me, Doctor Perez go page the other residents and discharge the patients who aren’t in dire need, we need all the beds we can get,” Jeonghan began assigning the extra nurses and interns around them to the other trauma rooms. “Someone get B positive in trauma three.”

Jogging to trauma two, he saw a couple of nurses inside. Only needing two, he sent the rest out while he examined the boy with Gary, “Doctor Clarke, page Doctor Hong and or Doctor Diaz, we need peds in here.”

“What happened?”

“Hi, Joseph, I’m Doctor Yoon. We’re gonna make you feel all better alright?”

The boy nodded, asking the usual questions; “Where are my parents? Am I going to die? Do my bones look cool?” To which the two doctors answered to the best of their knowledge as they tried to clean off his gashes. Jeonghan decided he could trust a resident with the patient until one of the pediatric doctors got there. He was just about to enter and check in on the other car crash victims.

That was until he spotted May rolling into the ER on top of a gurney performing CPR.

“… thirty-four, chest contusions, and a possible pneumothorax. Coded on route. I… I’m trying…”

May’s teary eyes lock with Jeonghan’s for a moment, the shock and wide-eyes were a clear red flag.

“Cheol?”

The gurney rolls past him, heading towards one of the empty trauma rooms. He saw his husband, now intubated with May pumping air into his lungs.

“Seungcheol?” He all but ran towards him, “Get the hell off of him!”

Jeonghan dodges all the nurses who were quickly trying to assess the other patients, but he was eventually held back by two different sets of arms. “Let go of me! Get the hell off of him!”

“Han! Jeonghan, they’re working on him right now-”

“They’re killing him!” He tries to break free from Hansol and Joshua’s grasp, eyes rapidly flying over the faces in the trauma room. A good majority were just residents and interns. “They don’t know what they’re doing! She doesn’t know what she’s doing! None of them do!”

“Jeonghan-”

“That’s Seungcheol! That’s- That’s my husband!”

They watch as the people inside quickly roll him out of the room towards an OR. Using all of his strength he pushes his friends away from him and runs towards the elevators.

“Get away from him-”

“Doctor Yoon,” May stops him in his tracks blocking the way, “Doctor Choi needs surgery right now, we need you to stay calm while we work, I paged Doctor Massie already-”

“Shut up!” He basically screams at her. “You don’t know anything.”

“I’m his doctor at the moment, I know my patient. We’re prepping him for surgery-”

“And I’m his husband while you’re just a fifth year who sticks her nose in all the wrong places and chose the wrong man to try to bat your eye lashes at. I don’t give a damn if you can name his blood type, age and complications now, but God forbid I allow you to step into the operating room not knowing what the hell you’re getting yourself into. That heart? That isn’t his heart, if you tell me one more damn time that I can’t go near him I will not only have you taken off this case but I will have you fired.” Jeonghan looked down at her.

The moment Hansol came running after him gave May the opportunity to close the elevator doors, separating them.

Jeonghan was basically hysterical at the moment as he pushed past Hansol running towards the stairs, pulling out his scrub cap (Seungcheol had bought it for him. It was white with a bunch of musical notes on it). 

The cardio specialist arrived in front of the OR when Chief Gomez appeared. 

“Jeonghan I can’t have you scrub in,” The Chief stops him from entering the room.

“No, I don’t give a damn if I see these people every day, I trust them, just _not_ with Seungcheol.”

“You’re too emotional to be in the operating room, it’s too risky, you threatened to fire an intern-”

"I know what I did, and I would gladly threaten her some more. If Seungcheol’s injuries are mainly in the chest, given the collapsed lung and the impact of the airbags, I need to get in there and fix the damage from the contusions and see if there’s anything else. I am going in there, I am going to assist Doctor Massie and hope and pray my husband makes it out alive because if he doesn’t you won’t just lose your best neurosurgeon, you’ll lose me too.”

Shoving himself into the OR, he commands the attention. “If you are not attending or nurse, get out of this room.” About two residents began objecting saying how they couldn’t just leave a patient when Jeonghan’s gaze hardened. It was even more intimidating since the mask and scrub cap framed his eyes, revealing raw anger, “Did I stutter? Get out of this OR, I don’t want to see any of you within a hundred feet of me.”

The two residents plus May scurried out of the room, stripping their gowns and gloves as Jeonghan stepped in after scrubbing in. Approaching Seungcheol, he refused to look at his face. instead, his eyes zeroed in at his chest; the old scar staring right back at him. Kyla waited for the signal to start. “Ready when you are.”

 

“Clamp,” Jeonghan steadied his breath. He had gone and repaired the damages around his heart and lungs but it didn’t help that he was also suffering from major internal bleeding that Kyla was attending to. 

Chief Gomez was watching from the corner. Evaluating and making sure nothing goes wrong.

It’s a procedure Kyla and he have performed countless of times together but the weight on their shoulders was much heavier than the others. Everybody in the operating room were all on edge. Everything had to be precise because one wrong move and they’d lose their best surgeons. 

In the moment, Jeonghan looked up to the viewing gallery momentarily. He saw his best friend in the front row, leg shaking in anticipation. It was crowded. Typical. Leave it to Seungcheol to gather a crowd wherever he goes. Jeonghan was thankful that his husband has such big support system. Of course, he wasn’t too pleased to see May sitting next to Joshua. The Chief removes the mask temporarily, when he saw what Jeonghan saw.

"Doctor Yoon-"

Everybody’s blood ran cold when the monitor's beeping sped up. “He’s going into cardiac arrest!”

Almost panicking, they all had to relax and go at it as if it was a normal. “Everyone pull out!” Jeonghan demanded as the nurses handed him the defibrillator. Placing the two paddles on both sides of the heart, he eyed the monitor as the spikes grew faster and smaller. “Clear!”

Snapping his head back to the monitor, he only saw a single large spike from the shock, only for it to go back to where they didn’t want it. Calling to make the charge higher, he tried once more only getting the same results.

“I swear to God, if you don’t pull through Choi, I will hate you forever, we are not going to spend three years at a time together, so get your shit together and come back to reality. You are not leaving me for a third time!” He stuck the internal defibrillators back in, “Clear!”

All eyes were on the monitor, following the green spikes and the rapid beeping. Simultaneously, they released a breath of relief when his heart rate steadied. It was their cue to finish what they started.

Jeonghan finishes the repair flawlessly before quickly handing his instruments to the nurse beside him. He ran to furthest corner where they dispose of their gloves and scrubs only to puke inside. 

Something Jeonghan never wished for was to see the love of his life opened up on an operating table, heart beating right in front of him. He thought he was strong enough, but as he wiped his mouth he began to choke on a sob. Looking up once more, he sees a couple people standing, watching Jeonghan at his weakest moment.

“Doctor Yoon are you alright?” Kyla’s voice is laced with concern.

Nodding as he tilted his head back trying to get the burning sensation from his eyes to stop. “Jisoo…”

Everybody turns their heads, including the one’s in the gallery, trying to see if there was a Jisoo in sight. Except the only two people who knew him by Jisoo were in the operating room. 

“Get… her out.” He makes eye contact with his boss, his insides burning with rage, "Now."

It didn’t take a genius to know who Jeonghan was talking about. Joshua turns to his left, looking at the girl next to him giving her an unimpressed look. She knew he was talking about her. So slowly she stood as eyes followed her out.

 

After the surgery, nobody could find the Cardio surgeon. His car was still parked outside so they knew he was still in the hospital. The interns had roamed the ERs and the other ORs while Kyla looked through the on-call rooms. Joshua took a different approach. The surgeon walked up and down every flight of staircase in the entire hospital until he finally found his best friend sitting underneath the stairwell, asleep.

If the tear stained cheeks weren’t obvious enough, then the swollen eyes and damp scrubs were enough to show what kind of state he was in. Taking a seat on the floor next to him, he simply waited for the cardio surgeon to wake up.

“Tell me someone shot me up with heroin. Tell me I’m dreaming,” Jeonghan mumbles, eyes still shut. “Tell me I didn’t just fix a valve in Seungcheol’s heart. That I didn’t watch Massie open him up and save his life.”

“I wish I could.”

 

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“I hope you know that you just risked everything. You went against hospital rules and we do not consent this. You were not allowed to step in that OR, let alone operate on him!"

“Then fire me,” Jeonghan deadpanned, scrub cap still on his head. 

"Doctor Yoon-"

"He coded on route, and he coded on my watch. The minute I hear a code blue from his room, you can consider me good as gone." The head of cardio threatened.

"That isn't going to happen. And you have to listen to me, I am your superior, I am your boss you cannot go and do something so reckless! I am not going to sit here and allow you to break the rules because you saw fit!"

"No!" He almost yelled, stunning the Chief, "I don't give a rat’s ass about the rules at this point. You assigned me head of cardio three years ago, I've done an amazing job. You don't get to talk to me like I'm a resident who doesn’t know jack shit. So now, I'm speaking to you like a human being."

Chief Gomez watched intently as his surgeon leaned over the desk, "I'm a husband. Want to know how I feel about you risking my husband's life because of some dumb rule that family cannot perform on another? I get it, this is a teaching hospital, but Seungcheol's lungs and heart aren't some sort of toy. There was no room for teaching and coaching. I did what I had to do. I was a surgeon. If you want to punish me for doing my job and doing it well; then fire me."

 

Two days after the surgery, the Chief asked -read as forced- Jeonghan to take a break and be with Seungcheol in recovery. It wasn't a suspension, it was more of a way to keep him and the chief sane. 

He watches Seungcheol breathe. The last time he was bed ridden, there was nothing for him to see; oh, how he wished he could go back. Seeing him in this state hurt him more than he could comprehend.

Jeonghan didn’t look up when he saw a figure enter he room. Instead he chooses to speak, knowing who it was.

“Do you know why I didn’t want you anywhere near Seungcheol for the surgery?” He pauses as he fixed the fringes on his husband’s forehead, “it's because as good as a doctor I think you are, I consider you extremely unprofessional."

"P-pardon?"

"I'll hold myself accountable for things I've done. But you? Allowing yourself to not only be attracted to an attending and forming some type of attachment towards him. I've been told you have been the only resident who has been assisting Doctor Choi on his surgeries; not giving any other intern the chance."

"I want to specialize in neuro sir-"

Shaking his head, Jeonghan’s lips upturn slightly, as if he finds her amusing, "And you blatantly disrespect me."

"Sir-"

"You interrupt me when I speak, you speak to me with this disdain in your voice which makes me believe that you don't want to speak to me. You talk back to me as if you know more than I do; I am the Head of Cardiothoracic surgery at this hospital and I have been for more than three years now, and I have been more than patient with you for these past years," He stood finally looking at her. 

"You had the gall to tell me that my husband was your patient and that I couldn't step into the OR. It would have made a bit more sense if I wasn't on duty but either way you had no right to speak to me that way. And for you to go over my head and try to pin the Chief on me? That's professional disrespect." His gaze hardened on her. “Were you undermining my ability as surgeon?”

"I-"

"Now if we're going on to personal disrespect, that list is even longer." 

May had to admit it. She was terrified at that moment. She could hear the rage in Jeonghan's voice, but yet somehow, he managed to still sound calm and nonchalant. He approached her slowly, eyes never leaving hers. May didn’t realize she was backing away until she was already half way out the door. 

"You skip around these halls thinking you're untouchable because Doctor Choi has taken you under his wing to teach you. You think I don't know what goes through your little mind? I have eyes and ears throughout this hospital and I find it tremendously disrespectful when you flirt with my husband. Don't even try to deny it. Gary sold you out to me for a surgery, so don't tell me your feelings for Seungcheol are completely professional. And the biggest disrespect was how you were crying while resuscitating him,” His tone finally shifted. Jeonghan’s eyes were on fire while his voice dripped with anger.

“You cried as if you’re the one in love with him. You tried to save his life as if you knew what that heart has been through. You think you tried your hardest to save him. But you did it right in front of me. So no, you didn't try your hardest because screw being level headed and humble; I'm the only one in this hospital besides Doctor Massie, that I trust to save him. You tried hard but trying your hardest would have been giving him immediately to me."

"I deeply apologize." She bowed her head. The resident felt the stares of the nurses and other residents on them. In all honesty, they all expected Jeonghan to blow up eventually, it just took a heart-breaking experience for him to call it quits. 

"As of today, you're on probation. I may be on leave but I sure as hell still have authority."

Her head snapped up. "What?"

"I've talked to Chief Gomez already. You can stay at the emergency room and do sutures. You can do rounds and checkups. You're not going near an OR anytime soon."

"But-"

"No. Buts." His eyes were flaming. "You telling me to back off almost cost him his life,” Jeonghan pointed to Seungcheol on the bed behind him, “And do you know what would have happened if he died on that table? I would have died with him. You wouldn't have a neuro or cardio surgeon here. Maybe even a peds or general surgeon. And that would have been on _you_. And as of right now; I wouldn't want you in my surgery, Doctor Hong doesn't want you anywhere near pediatrics while Doctor Massie has opted out of taking you."

May shrank on the spot. It wasn't until now has she taken into consideration to repercussions of her actions. Being so full of herself she didn't realize that there were going to be major consequences.

"One more misstep and I'll have you fired. Are we clear?"

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Jeonghan laid next to Seungcheol in their bed. Seungcheol had been discharged last week while Jeonghan only popped into work for major surgeries, refusing to leave his husband's side for more than twenty-four hours. 

Seungcheol had his ear pressed against Jeonghan's chest as he listens to his heartbeat beneath the cotton shirt. He relaxes more when he feels the younger run his fingers through his black hair. "You know, you were pretty hard on Olsen."

"Well that's what happens when she wants to get you in bed and prevent me from saving your ass," he hums a response. 

The injured one chuckles, drawing random shapes into the other's hip. "Touché."

After twenty more minutes of pure white noise and enjoying one another's company, they two adjust their position to where Jeonghan was now lying on Seungcheol's arm and had his wrapped around the older’s waist (gently since he still had bandages), head resting on his shoulder, "Please never scare me like that again. Your organs creep me out."

Placing a kiss on the crown of his head, Seungcheol traces over Jeonghan's arms, "I promise to try to drive with a lot less people on the road," He looked down to see the most beautiful man in his world making the strangest face. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm trying not to cry, I think it's working."

Wanting to tease his husband a bit more, he leaned close to the other’s face, "Thank you for saving my life."

"Fuck." Jeonghan body felt less tense on him. He felt his shirt beginning to get damp. "Damn it."

"Are you crying?"

"Yes, you fucking jackass." 

"Stop you'll make me cry."

In retaliation, Jeonghan lifted his head, making eye contact with Seungcheol. His eyes were red and watery. He had to look away because within seconds, he had started crying.

"Serves you right."

The rest of the night was filled harmless banter, short kisses and Jeonghan trying to guess what Seungcheol was writing on his back. That’s how he liked spending his nights. Knowing Seungcheol was there with him.

 

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“McHotty! You’re back!”

Seungcheol scrunched his nose at the old nickname. “Nobody calls me that anymore Chwe.”

The two entered a patient’s room. They greeted both the patient and possibly the patient’s grandma. Seungcheol was glad nothing has changed much since his three-month absence. Except for the fact that in those three months Jeonghan had become like a Koala, clinging onto him nonstop. He didn’t mind that part. At all. His husband’s level of affection would always depend on whatever mood he was in. So having Jeonghan be affectionate almost always (besides when he was angry), Seungcheol couldn’t complain.

“Victoria, how are you today?”

“I-”

“I know you,” The grandma cut her off and pointed at Seungcheol. The brain surgeon looked over at Hansol who only shrugged as he replaced the IV bag.

“I can’t say I know you,” He blinked in shock when she poked the exposed part of his forehead.

“Did Doctor Yoon divorce you yet?”

He swore he was about to have stroke at that moment. Seungcheol heard his patient scold her grandma while Hansol had covered his mouth out of shock. “Jeonghan wants a divorce!?”

“Yeah! You’re an asshole!” The grandma flicked his forehead.

Blinking rapidly, he didn’t really know what to say. He tilted his head to side, unable to form a proper sentence. Is that why he was being so nice?

“Ms. Marley is that you?”

All four heads turned to the door where Jeonghan stood with the brightest smile on his face, completely unaware of the terrified looks his husband and friend were giving him.

“Hi sweetheart, I was just telling this Doctor Choi off,” The old woman gave him a death stare.

“You want a divorce?!” Seungcheol almost cried on the spot because of Jeonghan’s surprised face.

“What! No!” Jeonghan looked incredibly offended. He wanted to laugh and yell at the same time, but Seungcheol’s panicked face told him he really shouldn’t. Apologizing to the patient for bringing personal matters in front of them, he turned back to his husband, “Babe why do you think I want a divorce?”

Mouth still ajar, Seungcheol rotates his body to point at Ms. Marley, the grandma he just met.

“He’s the asshole cheating on you! You better have filed for divorce. I can’t have a nice man like you stay with a vile pig!” She spat.

Hansol stood in the corner next to the patient, biting on his fist, trying his very best not to laugh at this turn of events.

“You think I cheated on you?!” He turned back to Jeonghan pointing to himself, eyes tearing up.

“No! No no no no no!” Jeonghan was holding in his laughter as well because only they would go through such a weird miscommunication like this; through a patient none the less. Placing his hands on his very emotional husband’s shoulders he gave them a gentle squeeze, “Ms. Marley you got it all wrong, he never cheated on me. The intern was my problem, not Doctor Choi, not my husband.” Turning back to Seungcheol, he brought a hand to his cheek, giving him a smile, “I’m not filing for divorce, we’re fine. Okay?”

“Look what you did Nanna!” Victoria scolded, “You broke my doctor!”

 

Seungcheol strolled out of the hospital, hands tucked into his jeans as he walked towards his car. He couldn’t stop thinking about what happened earlier.

“Did you really think I filed for divorce?” He looked up to see Jeonghan leaning against his Mercedes Benz. Seungcheol forgot they drove together since he still had yet to buy a new car since his accident.

Seeing the warm smile, he felt even worse for even thinking that it was even a possibility. “It was a huge bomb she dropped on me in my defense.” Seungcheol stepped in front of Jeonghan, not making any move to touch him at all.

Jeonghan took that into his own hands, gripping onto the side of his jacket, pulling him in for a quick kiss, “I worked too hard trying to get you back, I’d be insane if I left you.”

A content sigh left his lips as he enveloped the younger in a tight hug. Seungcheol loved him so much. Even if he did panic slightly at the false accusations of divorce, he knew deep down that it wasn’t true. They fought too hard to be with each other. There were moments that their relationship would get intense and arguments would arise, but they’d always work through it together in the end.

They’ve really been through everything. The odds were always against them, but yet here they were. Their love was like a patient. In and out of the hospital with endless amounts of complications, but by some unknown miracle, they pulled through. Nobody can explain it, but they survived.

“Let’s go home.”

And they thrived.

 

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

_“Hi,” the little boy waved to the other who sat across him._

_The four-year-old turned his head from side to side, seeing the encouraging looks of his parents to talk. Instead he just waved back._

_“Where are you going?” The wide-eyed boy asked kicking his feet back and forth. His parents had gone to grab some food at the kiosk near their gate._

_He saw the other’s dad lean and whisper before he responded with a mispronounced, “America.”_

_Nodding his head in excitement, the five-year old smiled, “I’m flying to New York.”_

“Gate 30A, now boarding to PHL, Philadelphia. Coach. Now boarding.”

_Frowning a bit, he watched as the smaller boy in front of him hopped from his seat._

_“Jeong-Jeong say bye-bye,” His mom squeezed his hands. The four-year-old waved as his parents led him to the gate. Quietly, he waved by back, pouting that he was alone._

_“Seungcheolie, I got you some choco-milk,” His mom, dad and brother reappeared. “Are you okay?”_

_“I met someone going to America too. Do you think we’ll see them there?”_

_As the announcer called for the gate 30A, his mom shook her head, “Probably not.”_

_“It’s a big place,” His big brother pinched his cheeks, “You’re never going to see him again.”_

_Swatting and crying at his brother’s pestering, he looked over to where ‘Jeong-Jeong’ was whisked off too. He saw him in his dad’s arms, drifting off to sleep. He really did hope to see him there since he really wanted a friend in America._

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“Do you ever think we’ve ever crossed paths before the hospital?” Seungcheol asked randomly, head laying on Jeonghan’s stomach while they watched television on the couch. They were watching Love, Rosie (mostly because they couldn't find the remote).

Interlocking their fingers, Jeonghan kissed the back of Seungcheol’s hand, “I highly doubt that. We already got our happy ending. Don’t think too much.”

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND THAT'S THAT!  
> Did you like that mini flashback that they don't remember at all? I do.  
> Anyway thank you to everyone who read this and enjoyed it. This is by far my favorite story I've ever written and I've written a lot for a lot of different fandoms through the years.  
> Comment and let me know what you guys think, follow me on twitter @HVChwe_ if you enjoy RT's and random thoughts by me.  
> (if you read Diamond Edge, I'll be updating before the end of the month & if you're interested, I will be posting a new fic, it's more of a collection of drabbles, you'll see it!)  
> Till next time!  
> Sorry for any mistakes!


	5. By your side I'll be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprises and Dreams are supposed to be a good thing! Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BONUS CHAPTER BECAUSE I HAVE NO SELF CONTROL :)

***

 

Marital bliss. Something Jeonghan and Seungcheol would like to think they experienced. Wrong. Both of them have never gotten to really soak in the fact they are really truly married. Of course they still celebrated their anniversaries, but it was just their usual day to day type of event. The two are the best doctors on the East Coast, having availability is something they don’t usually get.

Seungcheol is fully committed to his husband and vice versa, but there was just nothing that really made him feel like they were truly married save for the ring.

They didn’t have a honeymoon since they were thrown into work right after. They moved in together, but it was uneventful. Yet here they are, going on to four years and still, nothing really monumental has happened between the two to commemorate their commitment and love for each other in Seungcheol’s opinion. That is, if he didn’t include their two-month leave when he got into an accident last year. It was the most domestic, and most intimate time they’ve spent together.

If someone were to ask him if he still loved Jeonghan he’d simply be offended. For someone to think that he didn’t was just insane. But there was something that he felt was missing and he had his heart set on finding it.

Seeing his husband down the hall, he tip-toes towards him, “Can you schedule me for tonight in OR two? It’s for a congenital heart surgery, please and thank you.”

Coming up from behind Jeonghan he cages him between himself and the counter, “Guess what kind of magic I obtain?”

Not one to easily submit to his husband’s public display of affection, he continues to lean on the counter, face away from Seungcheol – although he did find himself gravitating into his left arm a bit. “Did you get Hansol to buy me new glasses since he stepped on mine?”

“I am not that magical,” he pulled on the sleeve of his scrubs finally making him look at him, heart swelling at the twinkle in Jeonghan’s eyes, “I talked to Chief Gomez, and he is giving us ten days off for our anniversary. Ten days of just you and me, doing everything and anything we want. Aka, you get to sleep for more than twelve hours for more than two days in a row.”

The look on Jeonghan’s face is enough to let Seungcheol know that he’s more than okay with that kind of news. It seems so good that his husband had to ask if he was lying. Seungcheol’s smile broadens significantly, “No sir, ten days to ourselves. Once I finish my surgery Friday, I’m all yours.”

The two doctors haven’t seen a break in almost a year. After their leave last year after Seungcheol’s accident they’ve been nonstop at work. So at this point, Jeonghan really did believe that his husband has some sort of magic power that finally got them a break for the fourth anniversary.

“Doctor Choi there is someone looking for you,” An intern approaches the two, interrupting their mini celebration, “her name is Grace.”

The neurosurgeon blinks at the name, not really sounding familiar, “Who?”

“Me,” a woman with long dark hair followed behind the intern, a little three-year-old in tow. 

She looks extremely familiar, but he can’t seem to put a finger on it. But what he does know is that he could feel his husband tense up a bit next to him. “Cheol who’s this?”

Out of reflex, Seungcheol snakes his arm around Jeonghan’s waist, pulling him closer, “I-”

“Jeonghan?” The two surgeons spin around. The said man looks absolutely thrown at the sight of the man in the wheelchair. Unsure as to why the tension seemed to thicken, he chooses to ignore it, even with his husband’s grip on his scrubs tightening. Patients always come first.

“Seokmin you shouldn’t be out of your bed,” Seungcheol scolds, “Your surgery is soon and you need-”

“Cheol...”

“What are the odds,” Seokmin laughs, rolling his wheelchair closer to them, “what a small world! My surgeon of all people!” 

Seungcheol gives Jeonghan a skeptical look, “Am I missing something?”

Seokmin holds out his hand, which seems a bit odd since they’ve already met. He came in yesterday since he was referred to by a doctor from North Carolina to remove the tumor in his temporal lobe. The man is set to be his last surgery before their break. “I’m his ex-fiancé.”

Pulling away from his husband, his jaw drops when he sees Jeonghan’s face contorts, as if it’s some sort of conformation. Before anything else could be spoken he spins back to the random woman who asked for him, “I am so sorry, but who are you?”

“Grace,” She pushes the little boy forward, “And this is your son.”

…

“Come again?”

“You got someone pregnant?”

Panicking inside, Seungcheol blurts out incoherent words, “Your fiancé needs brain surgery?”

“Ex. We’re _married_ Seungcheol!” Jeonghan stresses.

“Woah! You’re gay?” The woman gasps, “and you got me pregnant? Wow. What an inconsistent ass!”

Seungcheol looks up to ceiling, waiting for God to just strike him down right here right now, “this is why bi people can’t have nice things.”

Slowly, Seokmin wheels closer, looking between the two intently, genuine amusement written on his face, “You got married huh?”

Not having any of this overwhelming situation, Jeonghan hunkers to the ground, covering his face out of frustration, “Oh dear God.”

 

“I cannot be at the hands of your ex-fiancé’s life!” He almost slams the door to the attending’s lounge.

“I can’t be someone’s step-dad! Cheol what the hell?” The head of cardio smacks Seungcheol with a cushion from the couch, “Do you not know what protection is?”

“You’re really asking me that?” Seungcheol ogled at him, “I thought your ex’s name was Minseok!”

With a scrutinizing look, Jeonghan responds, “No you idiot! It’s Seokmin!”

“This is a high-risk procedure, I can’t have this much pressure to save his life!” Seungcheol rubs his head, trying to make the migraine disappear, “What if something goes wrong? Oh my god. It’ll look like I did it on purpose when didn’t. I could be sued.”

Both surgeons know that he was being over dramatic, but it really is a high-risk procedure. And they had bigger things to worry about than a surgery he’s performed hundreds of times. “All I know is that I can’t be a dad!”

Seungcheol pauses, something in him flickering. Hesitantly he asks, “You don’t want to be a dad?”

“Cheol, now’s not the time to talk about getting kids when we have a possible situation at hand!”

“That kid is almost four, right? That’s impossible since that would mean I’d had to be with her before you arrived. I know I was with her when I was finishing my fellowship.”

Jeonghan’s nose flares, not enjoying that his husband is bringing up old sex-partners, “Maybe you should have tried celibacy!”

“Maybe you should try finding guys who don’t have health problems!” Seungcheol shot back, sucking it back in when he saw Jeonghan’s face go from annoyed to offended. “I am so kidding. You are perfection.” He slips a quick kiss in attempt to distract him along with a compensating smile.

The brunet whines, not enjoying the predicament they were in. He can’t necessarily be mad at Seungcheol since they weren’t together and he didn’t know. But still, if it did end up being his, then that would mean a custody battle and that’s complicated. 

“I can’t have this many things right now, I have a surgery later. But go and get a blood test done and go fix this!” Jeonghan demands. Seungcheol turned to walk away, but is pulled back to be met with a chaste kiss.

Pulling away, there’s a goofy smile on his face, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Jeonghan scrunched his nose, giving one last peck before removing himself from Seungcheol’s hold. 

 

 

 ***

 

 

“I’m not the father,” after their mini argument, Seungcheol immediately went back to Grace to get a blood test done to make sure. Imagine Seungcheol’s surprise and relief when it came back negative a couple of hours later. But it still left him wondering; why did she lie?

She sighs, watching the little four-year-old boy run around inside the daycare. “I know...”

“Then why?”

“I’m suffering from stage four lung cancer,” her voice wavers, “I found out about two months ago. I don’t understand how it happened but it did. And I’ve opt out of Chemo.”

Being in medicine, that notion puzzles Seungcheol extremely, “Why? I’m sorry if it’s pushing but as a doctor, chemo gives you a longer chance to live?”

“I can’t do it. That’s not the way I live. I want to live life the way it’s supposed to be lived and not being handcuffed to a hospital. Daniel doesn’t deserve that life and he needs someone.”

“So why me?”

She shifts her weight onto her other leg, “I wracked my brain through all of the guys I’ve been with, it was either the father, you or this dude I hooked up with at a bar. You seemed like the best fit.” Grace turns to the surgeon, eyes pleading, “I know going to an adoption agency would have been a smarter option but I wouldn’t know if he got put with a good family or not. With you I know he’s in good hands.”

“Grace, I have a husband, I can’t just decide this on my own. We’re both full-time surgeons and this is a decision for the both of us.” As flattered as he felt, it just didn’t seem fair to make such a big decision alone.

“But both of you are good people,” Grace looked up at him, “You save lives. I don’t want to be saved. So save his.”

It’s a lot to ask of him. But there’s this feeling in his chest that makes him feel so much lighter. Jeonghan and him have never discussed the topic of having kids. That’s what felt incomplete to him. Seungcheol has wanted to have kids since he could even remember. It’s the fairy-take everyone wanted. Find true love, marry them and have a family with them and live happily ever after.

Maybe this is the reason it didn’t feel much like they were married. It was like they were dating but with matching rings. He couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, this could be a sign from god telling him that this is what was missing. A kid of their own.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

 

 

 ***

 

 

“No.” Jeonghan says with absolutely no hesitation.

Appalled, Seungcheol blinks at the upfront answer, “What?”

“It’s not your kid Cheol? Why would we adopt it?”

“Because the kid’s not going to have a family, and-”

“And what?”

It seems impossible but he feels this uncomfortable feeling in his chest he hasn’t felt in a long time. They’re about to have a really big argument if Seungcheol doesn’t choose his next words carefully. But that puts a lot of pressure on one single person when they’re very passionate over how they feel.

Seungcheol whole heartedly believes they’re soulmates, that they’re made for each other. For some reason, that perfect picture he’s been seeing is crumbling right in front of him.

Having a kid, a family was always Seungcheol’s intentions. Becoming a surgeon and getting Jeonghan had put a blanket over those dreams, making him forget about them temporarily. He’d expect Jeonghan to at least want one.

“I’ve wanted it a kid since I could remember.”

He could see aggravation seeping out of Jeonghan, as if this topic was off limits, “Yeah and this reflects on me how?”

Disheartened from his response, he gives his husband an incredulous look, “Jeonghan we’re married, have you never really given thought to having kids?”

“I’m gay and not an owner of a uterus. Having kids did not cross my mind,” Jeonghan’s words were harsher than intended, “Maybe if you wanted kids so much, you should have married someone who wants them.”

“Well I’m sorry that I assumed that you’ve thought about having kids with me,” Seungcheol snaps but from the look on Jeonghan’s face, it looks as if he has said something wrong.

“Not to conform to the norms of society, but I’m not a woman. I do not have the ability or the worry of getting pregnant. So, no. The thought doesn’t occur. If you wanted someone to have kids with, then maybe you should have married a woman.” The brunet’s words dripping with anger.

“Jeonghan you know that’s not what I meant.”

“Yeah well that’s what I heard,” Jeonghan shoves his way out of the on-call room.

“Han, come on, that’s not fair.”

“I have patients.”

“You know I love you more than anything and I’d marry you in every single life time,” Seungcheol declares, not wanting him to feel like he regrets the decision. Because he doesn’t.

“How about the ones where I don’t want a kid?”

There’s a slight hesitation and they both hear it. “I love you no matter what.”

“Then why are we still talking about this?”

“Because I want you to at least think about it!” Now it’s the neurosurgeon to release his frustration. This whole situation is vexing to him, this wasn’t how it’s supposed to go.

“You think I haven’t? We’ve been married for four years, I’ve been in love with you for almost twenty. Of course the thought of adopting went through my mind!” He yells, “I just can’t do it! End of discussion!” Jeonghan counters, “We are not going to be that couple that argues about their personal life at work.” He storms towards the door.

“Jeonghan!”

He was exasperated. The look on Jeonghan’s face shows complete exhaustion and anger, his eyes are wide, nose flaring, he almost screams, “Apparently you don’t love me enough to let this _go_!”

Both of their tempers were to their limits and his husband’s accusation knocked Seungcheol over the edge, “Apparently you don’t love me enough to even try!”

It became eerily quiet between them. How did it come to this? “So you’re questioning this. Us?” 

He could feel the lump in his throat, not liking the position they’re in. “Are you?” Seungcheol manages to rasp out.

“After everything we’ve been through,” Jeonghan gets up close to his face, “our downfall is going to be because of this. Because you want me to have a kid with you.”

“Han, what you’re putting me up against isn’t fair.”

“No what’s not fair is you trying to pit me into accommodating to the societal norm that we have to have children. That’s not fair especially since I don’t want them,” he points to himself, raw pain showing on his face, “if you can’t accept that, then maybe, _just maybe_ , you picked wrong.”

His voice is stuck in his throat when his husband leaves him alone in the on-call room. One of their biggest arguments they’ve ever had, and it’s left unresolved.

 

 

***

 

 

“Incoming!” Nurses yell as they run past Seungcheol carrying IV drips and other supplies. A gas line had exploded in an apartment building causing the influx of patients. He shifts his mini flashlight from one eye to another.

“Get her to CT, page her scans get in,” he orders one of the residents, maneuvering out of the trauma room. Pager going off, he’s called to the trauma room over. Walking in he sees his husband cracking a man’s chest who has a major bleed coming from his head. “Where do we got?”

Jeonghan shoots his head up, obviously not happy with who turned up from his page, “I told you to page neuro.”

The intern stutters at the intimidating tone in the cardio surgeon’s voice, “I… I did. Doctor Choi is- he’s the… head of Neuro and he was right there-”

“Shut up,” Jeonghan snaps, “Get out and find me a competent intern.”

The girl scurries out giving Seungcheol a terrified look. “I’m who you’re getting so what do we have?”

He huffs, checking the man’s heart. Explaining how the middle-aged man suffered from a cinderblock and other rubble falling on him from the explosion. The neurosurgeon sees an extensive brain bleed and is about ready to tell Jeonghan about it, but is left hanging when he sees his husband’s back already throwing away his gloves telling the nurse to page him when the patient is ready for surgery.

It wasn’t until he asks the nurse to page him as well when he realized it’s Hansol.

“Do I want to ask?” His friend looks concerned as he lifts up the cot’s guard so the patient doesn’t fall.

“Not right now man.”

 

After a couple of hours in surgery with his husband and curious glances from nosy interns and instigating nurses, he’s finally able to go and do his rounds to make sure pre-ops were all good.

“Mister Lee, how are you?” Seungcheol asks dully.

“Ah, if it isn’t my savior and the mistress,” he jokes, “Call me Seokmin again, Doc.” Seungcheol gave a bitter sigh as he checks his vitals, “Your smile doesn’t look too bright? I hope me being here isn’t a problem.”

“It’s not.”

“I’m glad. I really have no intentions on trying to win him over, he seems a million times happier with you than he ever was with me.”

Something ugly twists in the pit of his stomach, “Well, apparently not so much anymore.”

“What’s going on?”

“You guys were engaged for a while...” Seungcheol thought for a moment, “Have the topic of kids ever popped up?”

His patient thinks for a bit, trying to remember, “For me it was always a possibility. It wasn’t my biggest concern. I could live life with one I could live without one to be honest.” Seokmin smile softened, “Jeonghan’s amazing with kids, you probably already know,” Seungcheol nods at that. He’s seen the way he plays with their co-worker’s kids and how he played with his cousins back in college. He was a natural parent. 

“He is really great.”

“But it wasn’t his dream,” Seokmin sighs, “He loves kids, but he could never become a parent. He knows he’s a busy man. He knows that he won’t have time to be a good father no matter how great he is with them. Jeonghan has a weird mentality but it makes sense. He told me ‘why would I adopt a kid to only spend a couple of hours a day with them and not give them everything they need because I won’t be there. When someone else, who truly wants a kid, would take care of them and love them the right way.’ A bit sad, but true non-the-less.”

“But don’t you think that there’s a way to compromise with him or change his mind? In marriages shouldn’t there be an understanding?”

“I’m pretty sure you know Jeonghan better than I do,” Seokmin jabs playfully, “so you should know how Jeonghan is when he speaks out about something.”

Giving it some thought, he can’t help but feel even worse. It’s true. Jeonghan really never speaks out about how he feels about anything. Yeah sure, he’ll whine about things here and there but pointless things. When big decisions are made, he usually just lets Seungcheol decide. Buying their house, Jeonghan had requested it to have a good AC unit, a nice bed room and a nice view. That’s it. For their anniversaries whenever Seungcheol would ask what he wanted Jeonghan would kiss him and say, “Whatever you want, I’m sure I’ll love it.”

Then another realization dawns on him. Jeonghan has sacrificed so much for him already because Jeonghan would do almost anything for him. He sacrificed the best offer back when they had rekindled because Seungcheol was here. Jeonghan could have gotten fired last year for insubordination for saving his life and for that he’s forever thankful. Even after, when he wasn’t able to drive because he was too scared to get back on the road, Jeonghan had gladly driven him places.

“If Jeonghan verbally says he doesn’t want something, there’s really no changing his mind. Because that’s how he feels.”

“Doctor Douchebag!”

 _‘Oh god…’_ Seungcheol closes his eyes, turning around, not even opening his eyes, he responds, “Yes Doctor Hong how can I help you.”

“If an intern gets fired for negligence, just know it’s your fault,” he strides into the room. “Mostly because your husband is having one of his zero tolerance for mistakes days. So, tell me Doctor Douche, what did you do?”

“Hi,” Seokmin shifts to see Joshua a lot clearer, “I’m Doctor Douche’s patients, Seokmin, how are you and how do you like your eggs cooked in the morning?”

“Hi, I’m Joshua,” he shakes his hand, amused, “I could be better and… I liked my eggs scrambled, usually made by my husband,” he laughs when Seokmin pouts at the word ‘husband’ and when he spots the ring, “and sometimes made by his husband. Who’s currently hammering it into one of the residents for taking more than ten seconds to answer his question.”

“Doctor Douchebag’s in trouble~” the patient teases but it seems as if he has connected the dots in his head with all the questions and an angry Jeonghan, “Oh… you want a kid and Jeonghan doesn’t…”

“Oohhh…” Joshua drops his arms to the side, realizing the weight of the situation, “He never told you he didn’t want kids.”

“Are we just going to talk about my husband in front of his ex-fiancé?”

“You’re his Seokmin?”

“Hello!”

“Seungcheol points his finger at his patient, “You. Stay. Bed rest. I need to make sure you’re all set for your surgery,” spinning to his best friend, he points his finger at him now, “You. Outside.”

The pediatric doctor scurries out of the room, as Seungcheol shuts the door behind him, “you guys got into a fight over adopting a kid?”

“Did he tell you he didn’t want any kids?”

“Yeah, it came up a while ago,” Joshua crosses his arms, “Hansol and I are waiting to hear back from the adoption agency. But that’s not the point, you didn’t know?”

“We’ve never talked about it so I never knew how he felt about it.”

“I mean I guess I don’t blame you. We didn’t talk about it until two years ago. And that was what? Seven years in.”

“When I brought it up he got all defensive and mad and I feel like a shitty person.”

“Why were you two talking about adopting?”

“This girl I was with before. She needs someone to take in her kid because she’s not going to live for much longer. So she asked me to adopt him.”

“Well look at that, a kid basically comes knocking on your door,” Joshua laughs lightly. Seungcheol’s met with a pang of guilt. His best friend has been trying to adopt for a while but it hasn’t been easy with the lack of time, the paper works and getting approved.

He watches Joshua intently, as they walked together in silence, “Hey… Do you want to meet him? His name is Daniel. He’s staying in the daycare right now.” He feels a sense of relief when the other doctor shrugs, leading the way to his wing.

 

 

*** 

 

 

It's not that hard to locate his husband when there are a couple of interns huddled together in the break room, begging an attending to go inside. “No, I can’t talk to him, he ripped me apart for being late by thirty seconds.”

“He’s your attending!”

He’s about to offer his assistance when he sees exactly which attending they’re talking to, “And he’s now your co-worker! Come on, Doctor Olsen, please!”

_‘Oh No…’_

“I can’t, he does _not_ like me!”

“Go!” they push her inside, peaking their heads through the door to see. Jeonghan’s back is turned against them, stirring his coffee.

“Doctor Yoon?”

Everybody flinches when his mug hits the table a bit too loud. Seungcheol slaps a hand over his mouth, trying hard not to laugh at the intern’s and May’s reaction. “Olsen. What do I owe this pleasure?” It sounds more like a forced statement rather than a question. Before a sound could even leave her mouth, Jeonghan seems to already have enough of her, “Get out. If those idiot interns can’t speak to me themselves then they should receptionists instead of cardiologists and neurologists.”

She squeaks a bit, high-tailing it out of the room where the interns now stood, tight-lipped and scared.

“I got this guys,” Seungcheol finally decides to intervene. The look of relief that falls onto all of them is laughable. Leave it to him to be the only one able to poke the angry beast and not get eaten.

Seungcheol walks into the break room where he sees Jeonghan tending to a fresh cup of coffee. His eyes look up and they both just watch each other for a moment. 

The brain surgeon makes the first move, holding his hand out. “Come with me.”

He eyed the outstretched hand as if he was unsure if he should accept. Ultimately, he takes it, allowing Seungcheol to lead. The interns watch in awe as Jeonghan’s demeanor changes drastically when the two walk out hand in hand, the cardio surgeon looking more like an angry puppy instead of the blood-thirsty Rottweiler he was previously. Even Jeonghan wasn’t immune to Doctor Choi’s effect.

They wind up in the pediatric wing, much to Jeonghan’s displeasure. “Seungcheol what are we doing here?”

“You’ll see.”

“I swear, if you’re going to do something that’ll try to convince me-”

His husband pressed a finger to his lips, hushing him. They stopped in front of the daycare window where they saw children and some other staff members playing with their kids. There in the far-left corner, Jeonghan sees the kid he saw earlier this week, running in between and playing with Joshua and Hansol. Joshua caught the little boy in his arms, tipping over and falling on his back on the mat while the two giggled as Hansol watched over them. 

“Josh and Hansol are going to adopt him. They’ve been waiting for almost a year for a response from the adoption agency. And you know how much Joshua’s wanted a big family.” Seungcheol smiles when Joshua and the little boy wave at him, “I was talking to him about our argument and when he met Daniel, it’s like they fell in love with each other.”

“What about you?”

“Jeonghan, I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to try to pressure you in adopting Daniel.”

Jeonghan’s looks at him, “Well you did? And you made me out to be heartless because of it.”

“And I’m sorry,” he urges, “You do so much for me and I’m just sorry for everything I said. I didn’t mean any of it, I was just being selfish.”

“The fact you even thought that I didn’t give it any thought or wanted to try… it just baffled me. Of course I thought about it. I’ve tried to think of ways to make it work out in my head but it just doesn’t work,” Jeonghan says, “I just completed a research study that took a lot of our time together and I was just funded… I’m starting on my new trial next month, Seungcheol I have no time and I don’t know how you’d make time either. Your surgeries can last up to twenty-two hours or even longer. I thought you’d understand that after you, my work comes first.”

“I do, I do now,” he pulls Jeonghan away from the daycare, towards an empty hall, “I can’t change the fact that I still want a kid though… and it doesn’t help to wonder, what would you have done if the kid really was mine.”

“I don’t know. But all I know is… that I- I really don’t know. Are you-”

“No. I’m not trying to change your mind, I just wish we talked about this under better circumstances.”

“I just want to put more than fifty percent of my time with them if we were to adopt. They deserve so much more than a dad who’s not going to be able to focus and give what he needs. But until then,” his eyes sad, “I can’t.”

“Okay,” Seungcheol nods, holding his hand, understanding him. “Until then.”

 

 

***

 

 

“Everything okay down there? That’s great! Jeonghan?” Seungcheol bends his neck over the couch armrest to see him in the kitchen with Hansol, “He’s fabulous. Hit a breakthrough in his research, so we’re celebrating. No yeah, call me if anything changes alright? Alrighty, bye Seokmin.”

“Do you know how uncomfortable I am with you and my ex-fiancé being friends?” Jeonghan pushes his legs off the couch to make room for himself, handing his husband a glass of wine. “I feel like you two just talk about me.”

“That’s not all we talk about,” leans in, giving him a peck on the cheek, “We also talk about the weather.”

“Incoming!” Soon after the warning, a little five-year-old comes running straight towards them on the couch. Quickly, Jeonghan finishes the sip of wine he took, placing the glass on the coffee table in time to catch the charger toddler in his arms, being tackled in a hug.

“Well hello to you too,” the heart surgeon lifts him up, spinning him around.

“Daniel was excited,” Joshua explains as well as thanking his husband for the glass of wine, “He sees you like twice a month. I’m pretty sure he hates it when we come over and you’re not here.”

“Well I’m finally not in the OR, lab or sleeping, so it’s safe to say I’m pretty happy too,” He twirls around with his giggling God son in hand.

Daniel has officially been with Joshua and Hansol for almost a year now. Both demanding Jeonghan to be the God Father while they got Kyla to be the God Mother. It’s safe to say Jeonghan is the favorite ‘Uncle,’ that was until Mingyu came to visit two months ago and spent an entire week with Daniel, showering him with everything.

Jeonghan has been working nonstop, much like he predicted. Loving every minute he doesn’t spend in the hospital.

Seungcheol crawls to the other end of the couch, leaning over the edge where his husband is still carrying Daniel, giving the little boy a challenging look, “Give me back my husband you thief.”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“I miss him!”

“Well so do I!” He presses his nose to the toddler’s cheek, taking pleasure in Daniel’s giggles.

Hansol waddles over – something that makes his son laugh – taking him from Jeonghan who eventually gets dragged back onto the couch when Seungcheol wraps his arms around his waist, pulling him down with him.

“Jeongie isn’t a baby!” Daniel points to them when Seungcheol pulls Jeonghan onto his lap.

“No, I’m not,” He laughs when he feels (a tipsy) Seungcheol press his lips to his shoulder. “But Cheolie is.”

Even though it’s still just him and Seungcheol together, they are in a completely different place than they were last year. For some reason, they seemed happier. Not that they weren’t happy to begin with, but everything shifted slowly, until everything just fell into place. He finally got to see the bigger picture. Just because he imagined his life going in one direction doesn’t me he took a wrong turn in the wrong direction, it just meant that he’s exploring. There’s more to life than what he imagines for himself.

His old fairy-tale happy ending finished with him and Jeonghan with a kid living in a house where they have a front yard and a backyard to play in. Spending Sundays in with him and their kid, relaxing and doing whatever they so please. But it really was unrealistic.

Right now, his fairy-tale ending consisted of him and Jeonghan in a beautiful house, it didn’t have much of a front yard but there was a backyard. No kid. Their Sunday mornings were usually spent at the hospital doing rounds. But when all of them had overlapping free time, their best friends would come over and spend some time together.

You don’t chase a fairy-tale. You find it.

And that’s what they all did.

 

 

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yessss no kid for them! BUT I've had this written for almost a month I kid you not and I have a new story and it was kind of inspired by this ending because I love the idea of parenting Jeongcheol (I was also inspired by Cheol at that one fansign where there was a little kid and I kinda melted)  
> It's officially done so TADA! Thank you again, I love this story with all my heart I hope you still do even though I through in a random chapter. Sorry for any mistakes!

**Author's Note:**

> This has been in my WIP folder since November. I know because that's when I started watching Grey's and I was mind blown and I wrote as I watched. Plus I'm seeing what to revive from that folder. I have a lot especially with old ships i don't ship anymore.  
> I probably failed my exam, so as a reward, here's the revival of this story.  
> I really hope you guys love it because this one has been my favorite to write.


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